Society today highlights the importance of success over failure which leads many people to fall prey to the drivers of life by deciding to end their lives. People are facing so much adversity such as unemployment, higher cost of living, relationship problems, not meeting the expectations of society, or failing an exam which prompts them to feel hopeless, helpless, and worthless.

Although many people are motivated to be successful in life, it should not become our main gauge of happiness. In the same way, we should not let success be our main goal in life and get discouraged by failure. Whatever the case may be, the reality is, no one is immune to challenges. One needs to overcome them and have a story to tell by not being a victim of those many reckless drivers of life.

What drives your life?

Everyone`s life is driven by something. The question which needs an answer is, what is the driving force in your life?

Right now, one may be driven by a problem, pressure, or a deadline. We may be driven by a painful memory, a haunting fear, or an unconscious belief. There are hundreds of circumstances, values, and emotions that can drive our lives. The following springs to mind especially with the current suicide rate in Namibia.

Many people are driven by guilt: We’ve all experienced crushing guilt about something we’ve done. Guilt that convinces us we’ve blown it so badly there is no coming back from it. Guilt that allows what we’ve done to define who we are. We spend our entire life running from regrets and hiding our shame. Guilt-driven people are manipulated by memories. We allow our past to control our destiny.

And with those mistakes often come overwhelming feelings of guilt such as shame, self-condemnation, and humiliation. We often unconsciously punish ourselves by sabotaging our own success.

We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it. God’s purpose is not limited by our past. He turned a murderer named Moses into a leader and a coward named Gideon into a courageous hero, and he can do amazing things for the rest of your life. When it comes to the past, silence can be deadly. So stop pretending. Free yourself from the bondage of holding it all in and talk about what’s tearing you apart inside.

Many people are driven by materialism. Materialism and the desire to flaunt material things have become a significant part of today’s society. Gripped by rampant materialism, people have long attached too much importance to material things, or worldly successes and achievements, such as earnings, properties, and social status.

We see influencers all over social media who are promoting luxury products or services and telling their audience, “regardless of all the privileges I have, it isn’t enough”. People all around us spend frivolously on unnecessary things–from leasing ultra-high-end cars to undergoing unnecessary cosmetic surgery, wearing designer shoes and clothing, or sporting a Louis Vuitton purse or fancy Rolex watch. The desire to acquire becomes the whole goal of some people’s lives.

The drive is to always want more based on the misconception that having more will make them happier, more important, and more secure, but all three ideas are untrue. Possessions only provide temporary happiness. Because things do not change, people eventually become bored with them and then want newer, bigger, better versions. These are based on a flawed value system that rewards a perception of wealth and possessions as increasing social standing. Our valuables do not determine our value, and God says the most valuable things in life are not things! The most common myth about money is that having more will make someone more secure. It won’t. Wealth can be lost instantly through different uncontrollable factors. Unless the members of society realize our true problem — the existence of rampant materialism — and strive to restore a healthy balance between material life and spirituality, we will continue to be trapped in a downward spiral of stress, frustration, fraud, depression, desperation and the worst — suicide

Many people are driven by feelings of insecurity: Many people are feeling insecure due to the standards set by the people they interact with, such as family, friends, peers, partners/spouses, and society.

The feeling occurs when someone feels that he/she does not measure up to where he/she “should” be. This normally leads to low self-esteem, the experience of body image issues, feeling of lack of direction in life, feeling of weakness to meet a partner’s desires, or feeling overlooked by others. Some people may have a childhood where parents have been too pushing in order to satisfy their desire for success.

Many adults are still trying to earn the approval of unpleasant parents. Others are driven by peer pressure and are always worried about what others might think. The higher performers continue to be under great pressure to continue to excel. The higher they are, the greater the pressure to keep excelling.

They are under continuous threat to be above others whom they consider competitors. Facing this tough competition is a source of stress for many people, which affects their mental health to a great extent. Also, those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. I don’t know all the keys to success, but one key to failure is to try to please everyone.

Being controlled by the opinions of others is a guaranteed way to miss God’s purposes for our lives. Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters.”

There are other forces that can drive our lives but all lead to the same dead end: unused potential, unnecessary stress, and unfulfilled life.

Pleasing others will make you continue failing and the same people will gossip about your failure. Remember whatever is driving your life, God made you for a purpose, he had a plan for you. Just fulfil the purpose and plan he had for you without copying someone.

One of the triumphs of life is choosing not to surrender because success and happiness are not synonymous terms but point to the presence of a paradox.

History is replete with examples of successful people committing suicide. Success, fame, and recognition do not create an impermeable wall around people which cannot be permeated by distress. Each one of us has different ways of measuring happiness. The quality of one’s happiness depends on one’s priorities in life, happiness is not merely something that can be quantified with how much success and failure one has because such metric is very much subjective.

Part of this piece is an extract from Rick Warren’s book titled ‘Purpose driven life’.