All my life, I have constantly heard and read that love trumps all. Everything I consume seems to push the narrative of love being the master of all – the conqueror of everything under the sun – something to strive and die for.

However, love always comes at a cost – a great cost that is usually paid by someone who has the greatest love within. It is unfair but it is the reality on the ground.

This is not to say everyone who loved ever regretted it or ever will. There will always be space for love in everyone and in everything we do. Sometimes, it seems like love is a close cousin of fear because there is a thin line between how one expresses love and how they express fear. If you do not pay attention, you could easily mistake one for the other.

This is because just like we have learned that love can trump all, I am sure we have all, at some point, seen fear trump everything in its way. Fear makes people, especially the youth, do things. You would think they are doing what they love –but at times, they act out of fear: the fear of being rejected, fear of losing, or even the fear of being alone. Fear can be just as powerful.

It is so hard to be universally loved. Sometimes, it does not matter what you do; it is just not enough to warrant the love of those you wish would love you. As strong as love can be, it can be fickle and it is not something you have control over. You cannot make others love you; you can’t force or even teach them to love you. You just have to be you and hope that is enough for someone to love you.

Unlike fear that you can control, a sense of unpredictability or even threat can bring fear into any person. It is something you can control; you can have a sense of control of how another person feels towards you. Looking in from the outside, there really is not much of a difference between love and fear – and those who know this have used it to their advantage. 

So, while love does conquer all, as they say, fear can do the same. Be conscious of how your relationships are built – whether it is love and everything that comes with it or fear and everything that comes with it.

* Olavi Popyeinawa
Twitter: @olavipopyeinawa
Email: olavipopyeinawa@gmail.com