• July 4th, 2020

Dispatched thoughts - The pain of growing



Life is fickle and can be unpredictable, the one moment you are at the bottom and facing formidable challenges and before you know it, fortune favours you. You really can’t take it too serious.
With each challenge that one encounters, you become a little wiser and stronger, but what they don’t tell you is that with each challenge you overcome, you also lose a piece of yourself, you die a little. You change, you lose a part of yourself, you alter who you are.
It’s usually the people closest to you that notice this change in you first, but they would barely mention it to you, they just roll with the tide until one day when it becomes too late or unbearable anymore.

But I guess that is life, sometimes you do things that are out of character, things you don’t understand yourself, things you just can’t explain. Oddly enough though, to you everything seems fine and normal, there is nothing to worry about, you really are feeling good in those moments, it’s those that love you that are hurt the most, they see what you can’t. They see the destruction that you leave behind, they see how you are sabotaging yourself in front of their eyes.

In their own ways, they would try to warn you and would mention it in passing, but never strong enough to bring it to your attention. In some cases, they would tell everyone else around you, but not you. Consider yourself lucky if you have people that can be honest and direct with you.
There is a certain kind of pain you feel when you look into the eyes of someone that loves you and all you see is pain, worry, fear, disappointment or even disgust. They don’t have to tell you how they feel or what they think, but one look into their eyes and you can see it for yourself.
You can never be certain if what you are doing is right or if it will end up hurting your loved ones, they too can not be certain, some things one will only know once it has already happened. There is always a need to grow and progress and the costs and consequences are always shared with those we love the most.

So, we can’t always take life too seriously, the very things that bring us joy and happiness are also the very same ones that are capable of tearing and hurting us.


Olavi Popyeinawa
Twitter: @olavipopyeinawa
Email: olavipopyeinawa@gmail.com 


Staff Reporter
2020-06-10 09:28:53 | 23 days ago

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