2017-09-15Staff Report 2 August is mos always wedding season ha-ka. So I attended about three weddings. I attended all as a civilian, not as an entertainer. I was highly grumpy about it because jah…do these people not know I am a top entertainer or what? Mxii. Now here they are just inviting me to be a normal person? Nxo. But witnessing these weddings from the perspective of an attendee really brought a few things to my attention that I believe need to be addressed. Firstly, if you are planning your wedding ceremony... please know that sound, a DJ and an MC are non-negotiable! These three factors will make or break your night. I repeat…NON NEGOTIABLE! You MUST have them. What I shockingly witnessed at two of the three weddings was a Hi-Fi stereo set with subwoofers. I think whoever suggested that thought kutcha neh topie, the Hi-Fi makes proper noise at home and it would be able to duplicate the same type of noise in a hall the size of an average school hall with about 200 to 250 guests, at what would most likely be a four to five hour reception. No my neck friend. It does not work that way. You need professional sound that is DESIGNED for such occasions. A Hi-Fi is just for the house. Back to two of the three weddings that had Hi-Fi stereos pumping the music…what happened at both weddings is that the speakers of these Hi-Fi sets later gave in. Kaput! – To the point where you could only hear that annoying gons gons. At least the two weddings had like a megaphone for the MC to announce proceedings. Imagine Ousi Surukus from Aus with her soprano ka voice using a megaphone to deliver her speech...LOLOL. Bruh? Comedy. The 3rd wedding had dope sound but no microphone…LOL. The DJ they hired apparently did not think mics were necessary. So when asked to go get the mics…toe is dit nou lang stories. No, who, who has the mic, and his phone is off….LOLOLOL! Bruh? Comedy. So now what happened was that the MC had to direct proceedings without a microphone by shouting over drunk people who just came to have fun…LOL! Omes? Again. Comedy! To make it worse…this was one of those laptop DJs. We all know those laptop DJs. That homie does not give a rat’s a$$ who he is playing music too. The only thing that matters to him is...as baainaars would call it: “eet” and his house music. Ouens? How’s you go’ have Memes and Tates from the north sitting there maara and you are just playing your Heavy K, Gazza and Black Motion? The whole four to five hours?!! The poor MC continuously had to try and indicate to the DJ to hold up on the music so he could announce something. Man, man, man guys…COMEDY! Comedy for me yes, but I’m sure the couples at all three weddings receptions were livid!!! I know we are expensive. I know we are demanding. But I promise you bubu…book a professional MC (that would be me…J); book a professional DJ WITH sound and just sacrifice that ka last cow…sell it and pay us. We will make sure your night will be the subject matter for years to come! Until the next loop, we say “GMTM”! Song of the week: TKB: Twamana Nare Flop of the week: None! NSK is a professional MC. For bookings, email naobebsekind@gmail.com or @naobebsekind (twitter) 2017-09-15Staff Report 2
