• September 19th, 2020

No ’Perfect Wedding’ please

Eish, but wena, these boys in red overalls from our next door neighbour are some stout outjies, ne. How can you tell a president of a country to sit down in broad view of the whole country and the rest of the world watching the SONA? I mean, this is in front of his wife, kids, cousins, chommies, friends and possibly even some kamborotos he wanted to impress with his expensive English.

But no, here comes these laaities to throw sand in the creamy pap with keurbotter, stretching democracy to its limits with their call for “point of order” every minute. 

And just then, one in a penguin suit baptised “The Perfect Wedding” tried to flex his muscles by challenging the boys outside parliament for a moer-mekaar-is-best session. Lol, how I laughed my lungs out when I heard through some grapevine that “The Perfect Wedding” and Juju were /gamares at one point and Juju stole the penguin suit’s cherrie and made her kawifey. No, it didn’t end there. I understand that

“The Perfect Wedding” also made accusations out of vengeance that Juju was moering and abusing the wifey. Dear wifey has decided to sue her ex. Drama, drama, my mouth is watering.  

On their way out the Red Flag boys still klapped one poor laanie out of the way after their frustration of not being able to get their hands on former statesman De Klerk’s throat proved futile. I don’t know what the poor guy said, but Kalunga kange, you wanna be out of the way of those Otjiserandu boys before they batu you too.

Mind you, these are not dumb korongwees. They are highly educated young politicians who at times have swayed parliament with their motions that were well-thought out. They have made their mark in parliament and on other platforms, but I just didn’t prepare myself that tsotsi democracy can have such impact - only in SA, I think. 

South African parliament is like a theatrical play where you expect someone to say “Cut! Let’s go over this again. This was not your line.” But it’s real. I cannot imagine who had wanna miss any episode of this soapie. No wonder comedian Trevor Noah quickly made it to stardom and is now a sought after item in Obamaland or Trumpieland after he capitalised so well on his homeland’s politics.  

But that parliament is nothing like our parliament where politicians from different political parties exchange pleasantries, jokes, sleep, play video games, and at times also agree with each other on points of national concern.

With only one month to go before we swear in new parliamentarians, there is a lot of excitement out there as new blood will be joining the August House.  I am just hoping that the incoming parliamentarians are not taking ideas from the South African parliament to start throwing water at each other and before you know it, the paraparas are removed from our lokasies to be placed at parliament because the parliamentarians just like to fight too much. Our parliament is so small like a bar at the kroeg somewhere in Dolam location - there is no place to dodge. 

I know some of you are excited and hope some blows will be exchanged as old foes meet face to face after a looong break, but let’s take out those tsotsi mentalities out of our heads and hope that they will keep it professional and respectful. 

I hope there will be no reincarnation of “The Perfect Wedding” in our parliament like our big brother SA. No /gamis/gamare things. We don’t have the moola to fix things here since we are known for breaking things when we don’t get things done our way. We overwhelmingly agreed not to build another parliament, remember? I know emotions are running high, but let us please mind our language in parliament too. Our kids are also watching, assamblief.  

But I do hope to see some lively debates where we can see that you didn’t go to school for nothing – especially the younger ones who are just coming out of school with their philosophical ideas - make us proud. But I know that some of you won’t listen to me and will do just the opposite. I won’t miss it for anything. I am a typical Namibia and love drama too, tjii.
Sorry Ngo!

Staff Reporter
2020-02-21 11:56:29 | 6 months ago

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