OKAY, let’s get this straight: Father Christmas only visited people who were good all year in 2013 and who live in houses with chimneys. So, for those who did not meet the criteria: tough luck!
If Father Christmas did not visit you, it apparently also bears a bad omen for all your new year’s resolutions. Since I was already not on Santa Claus’s list, I don’t expect much from my resolutions for 2014, but I would still like to share some of them with you.
Starting with crime and corruption here in the Land of the Brave and the ‘Dronkies,’ all I can say is that it is a minor irritant that only affects government, the economy, service delivery, education, entertainment and the entire population. Let’s all keep on objecting until someone, preferably a politician, actually does something about it. Not holding my breath though …
On the music scene, my wish is that all those gelled-hair, open-shirt, fake music male singers will disappear. Bring on the girly singers!
When the horrendous TV and print ads about “unbelievable specials” have all vanished, my hope is that it will be replaced early in 2014 by something we can actually believe.
My most sincere wish would be for the “blame culture” excuse to go up in smoke. That’s the one where black people blame apartheid – read white people – for everything that they don’t like. And white people blame government – read black people – for everything they don’t like. And Coloured and Indian people blame both apartheid (read white people) and government (read black people) for everything they don’t like.
There’s little point in throwing your hands in the air and pointing fingers whenever something doesn’t go your way. So my wish is that we all channel some nice positive vibes, work together and try to make Namibia a better place before the elections start.
I wish for people to stop phoning in on “brain box” shows trying to answer the on-screen riddle as frenetic music plays and alarm bells go off in an effort to win a few bucks. All these participation shows just tell you one thing: Not all TV viewers are brain boxes. I wish for the Carte Blanche timeslot to move to Mondays as I already suffer from Monday blues on a Sunday night and I don’t need anything to bring me down further.
Please let all cashiers learn to smile in 2014. I also wish for cigarette manufacturers and Namibia Breweries to do away with all this “light” and “ultra mild” stuff on cigarette packets and beer bottles. All my beer-drinking, cigarette-smoking buddies are still coughing and getting fat, besides the “light” and ultra-mild” labels!
I also wish, no I pray, that in 2014 drivers in Windhoek will stop scooting up your car’s behind just as you are about to parallel park. And drivers will stop yakking on their cell phones while driving.
Go slow on the information overload with e-mails and attachments and legal mumbo-jumbo. And what’s with the CC business on chain junk e-mails? Outlook was slo-o-ow enough in 2013.
I wish people will stop denying that HIV causes Aids and stop believing all the estate agent’s jargon like “designer kitchen”, “sparkling pool” and “urgent sale.”
No more “funky handshakes”, stupid TV programmes and health “facts” that turn out to be useless. Go away like Hadedah birds!
I can also do without doom profits, the inordinate power of car manufacturers, interest rates, the never-ending celebrity-chef phenomenon, one-headlight drivers, numbers instead of words, overpriced deli food, overhyped and overpriced cuisine, pedestrians with a death wish, higher petrol prices and “please-call me request SMS’s.” And Facebook, Fistbook, Stalkbook and Vleisbook. Trust you had a good Merry Christmas and have not a bad new year at all!
Deon Schlechter