Charles Tjatindi
Every time we crucify the queen’s language, we are being consoled that English is not our mother tongue, and we should therefore not feel bad when we make bloopers.
But honestly, how much bloopers and mistakes are justifiable? I mean, if you come from the Omaheke Region like myself, it will be a constant challenge to remember that the word bank is pronounced without an ‘m’ as its first letter.
It’s also a struggle to pronounce goodbye without being tempted into adding an ‘n’ before the ‘g’. Pardon us – English is not our mother tongue.
Having had English as our official language for over a decade now, do you really think it is still a fair reason that we mispronounce words simply because it’s not our mother tongue? People have been crucifying the queen’s language to a painful extent.
How will you feel when you hear a Grade Two teacher summoning students to her table by saying “Both of you three, come here”? If you put your ear to the ground, you will even hear another teacher saying: “Tomorrow, I want you to come with your mother, your father, and both your parents”, or something like: “The girl goes to school, goesn’t she?” Can we still say these teachers are right, as English is not their mother tongue? I guess that is a million-dollar question. I personally think grammar should be reintroduced up to Grade 12 level.
Products of today’s education system are very eloquent speakers of the language, yet when it comes to writing, it is a completely different story. I guess things like proper sentence construction, the use of adjectives and prepositions are all new concepts to them. I mean, how do you sound so well-taught when we speak over the phone, but reveal a totally different picture of yourself when you have to communicate through a formal slang-free e-mail? Is it perhaps the language itself that is confusing?
I must admit – the queen’s language does have a few bloopers of its own.
There are just certain words and phrases in the Queen’s language that are just as confusing as our grade Two teacher. For instance, if we examine the language’s paradoxes (pardon me – I just had to use that word), we find that ‘quicksand’ takes you down slowly, ‘boxing rings’ are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig. Also, if writers write, how come fingers don’t ‘fing’? If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, why didn’t the preacher praught? Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital? If a vegetarian eats vegetable, what in the world does a humanitarian eat!
You have to marvel at the unique puzzling of a language where a house can burn up, as it burns down, and in which you fill in a form by filling it out.
People, not computers, invented English and it reflects the creativity of the human race (Is it even a race at all?). That is probably why when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
I guess that is why it is that when I wind up my watch, it starts, but when I wind up this week’s column – it ends. Eewa!