Jessica Brown
The nation was collectively shocked by the video which circulated on social media of the five-year-old girl who was so severely abused by her own cousins; themselves also children. “How could this happen?” we wondered. “How could children do this to each other?” Again, we were all appalled by the video of a mother, who in a mist of rage, was brutally attacking her child, while the bystander filmed the assault.
“How could a mother do this to her child?” “How could someone passively watch?”, we demanded. We were also horrified by the story of the father who murdered his own two-year-old son by hitting his head against a post. Again, we asked, “How could a father commit such offences to his own flesh and blood?” All these stories are terrifying and tragic, but they are also not random acts without explanation. These atrocities are happening for a reason. Those children were violent to their cousins, the mother vicious to her daughter, and the father fatal to his son because in Namibia, we systematically teach violence and condone violence in every sphere of life, and at the same time, we scorn and turn our backs on healthy emotional development.
Without realising it, we are actively teaching violence and actively suppressing empathy for others. The problem, and the solution to this crisis both lie in the earliest years of a child’s life.
The Lancet 2016 released a seismic paper which shifted how we globally think of children’s development. That publication and many since have highlighted how early experiences shape a child’s brain, and set the blueprint for their future. Exposure to violence in the early years of a child’s life, a period when their brain is rapidly developing, has a serious and prolonged impact on the formation of a brain. The child doesn’t even necessarily have to be a victim of violence themselves to have this effect. Studies have found that being brought up
in a household where there is intimate partner violence or gender-based violence can negatively impact a child’s physical, emotional, behavioural, cognitive and social development. When a person is at risk of violence and feeling fearful, their stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) spike, making them ready to respond to the perceived threat. When children are in a sustained state of fear, these hormone levels remain high over a period of time.
This puts their organs under strain, but also a significant amount of energy is used up keeping a person in an “alert mode”, and this diverts energy from developing the body and the brain of the young child. So, not only is being subjected or exposed to violence directly hindering a child’s ability to develop optimally, but what we are
being exposed to in these early years is also
what we are learning is normal. Ninety percent
of a child’s brain develops before the age of five. During this time, children are sponges, eager to learn, mirror, mimic and adapt to their surroundings.
Before the age of five, we learn the social and emotional skills which we use throughout our lives. If a child is surrounded by supportive, loving caregivers who protect the child from harm, provide opportunities for play and exploration with safe parameters, help the child manage their complex emotions, and teach them non-violent health coping mechanisms, the child will have a good foundation for life. This strong foundation gives the child the skills and competencies to continue learning, understand social situations, and constructively manage their own emotions. This child will perform better in school, make friends more easily, manage break-ups better in the future, and control their emotions in a healthy way – choosing to go and calm down during an argument, rather than reaching for the whip. On the other hand, children who are not supported in the early years, who are exposed to violence, who are not given opportunities to play and learn, who are regularly told to “shut up”, “stop crying” or ignored, who do not have engaged or supportive parents, are less likely to develop foundational skills.
These young people are more likely to underperform in school, more likely to struggle socially, struggle with holding down employment, have low self-worth and poor confidence, and are more likely to have unhealthy coping mechanisms, including the perpetration of violence, use of substances, and self-harm.
The challenge which we have in Namibia is that violence is an integral part of so many people’s lives, especially children. We have normalised it, and we think it’s required. Violence is used to raise children, violence is prominent in relationships, in our schools it’s seen as a vital classroom management tool, and it’s used between even tiny children for conflict resolution. By focusing on building skills in our babies and toddlers, we can break this pattern, but timing is vital. Trying to implement these later in life is much harder and less successful than engaging in positive practices in children. The ability to understand and explain what you are feeling
and why social-emotional skills are learned between the ages of two months and three years old, is crucial. To calmly express yourself, use the right language, and explain your logic is based on language development, vocabulary development, and cognitive skills that form between birth and the age of five years.
Our ability to empathise and understand someone else’s point of view – vital for conflict management – happens before the age of three to four years. Early experiences and guidance are vital to ending the patterns of violence in our communities, to build a culture of kindness, and to actively promote positive coping skills and non-violent conflict management.
* Visit Development Workshop’s website for more details about how to best support children in their early years for optimal brain development: www.dw-namibia.o