A few years back, I met a woman who said after she had reported her husband for abuse, she had nowhere to go because her family had deserted her, and she had no one to turn to. 

This made me think about the fact that in Namibia, many women walk away from abusive relationships with nothing but clothes on their backs.

They have no safety net to land, a steady income and often no one to turn to. 

The painful truth is that if there is nowhere to go, many end up going back. 

This is not because they want to, but because survival gives them no other choice. 

So, this begs my question: when we tell women to leave, the real question remains, where must they go after that? Who helps them rebuild?

 Right now, there are too few places where survivors of gender-based violence (GBV) can find immediate shelter, counselling and protection. 

The existing safe houses, often run by non-governmental organisations or church groups, are always overworked, underfunded and stretched thin because most of the workers are volunteers. 

In rural areas, the problem is even worse. 

Some regions do not have a single safe house, which means that survivors must travel long distances or stay in dangerous environments while waiting for help.

This is not acceptable in a country where GBV continues to rise and where women are killed simply for choosing themselves.

When we talk about safe houses, we are not just talking about four walls and a mattress. 

We are talking about places of healing, where women can breathe again – where they can be seen and supported. 

A real safe house should offer trauma counselling for the victim and legal assistance (to open cases or protect custody of children).

 Although this is an existing matter, rigorous follow-ups are necessary as well.

Additionally, a safe house should offer medical support, childcare, skills training and job placement or economic empowerment programmes.

Safety is step one, but reintegration is what stops the cycle from repeating. 

The worst question I have heard is, ‘Why don’t women just leave if they are tired of the abuse?’

 There are so many intricacies we do not understand about the dynamics of abuse, and not many of us even care to learn about them. 

Instead, we often find people judging because it is the easiest thing to do from the outside. 

‘How can she go back after everything he’s done?’ 

But leaving abuse is not a once-off event.

 It is a process – and without long-term support, many survivors find themselves stuck. 

They go back because they have children and no money, their family shames them or society does not give them the tools to survive on their own. 

In most cases, this reiterates my point that despite the system being slightly quicker to react when a woman is beaten, it is often very slow to help her rebuild a life without that violence.

*Frieda Mukufa’s lifestyle section concentrates on women-related issues and parenting. She also specialises in editing research proposals, proofreading and content creation. – etuholefrieda@ gmail.com