SWAKOPMUND – Fairytales and happy endings do not always come with a prince on a white horse. Sometimes they arrive quietly, through love, compassion and forgiveness.
This Christmas holds new meaning for South African life coach Reneal Davids. Earlier this month, she met her biological father for the first time in Rehoboth, Namibia — nearly 40 years after they were separated.
Having lost both parents and her baby, Davids says her annual ritual of visiting three graves on Christmas will feel very different this year, now that her father is with her.
Growing up with questions
Davids was raised in Bonnievale, South Africa, by the only man she knew as her father. He married her mother when she was two years old and gave her his surname. “I did not know who was my biological father, nor did I know about his existence until recently as we were separated before I was born,” Davids told New Era this week. An uncle sometimes would make unsettling remarks about a man known only as Otto, referring to him as her biological father.
“He would quickly be silenced, and my mother became extremely angry whenever he said it,” she recalled.
In the meantime, the only man she knew as her father died in 2013. As a teenager, she once asked her mother about Otto, but the conversations were sensitive and, out of respect, she avoided the topic. “Still, it stayed with me. My mom and dad had brown eyes. I have green eyes. I could see my mom in me, but not my father,” she said.
She describes the man who raised her as a blessing and says she was fortunate to be loved by such a gentle and compassionate father.
Searching for answers
Davids says the unanswered questions around Otto stayed with her as she grew older. She was also unaware that her surname was changed and only found out about it after her mother’s passing, while going through documents for her funeral arrangements in 2022.
This renewed her desire to know more and finally a family member confirmed that Otto Rickerts was real.
“She told me I had his green eyes, and I looked a lot like him. Hence the urge to know if he was my biological father intensified. I was not searching for a father — I already had one who loved me unconditionally,” Davids explained.
She took a DNA test which showed a high match closely linked to Otto, while further analysis uncovered a marriage certificate of her biological grandparents.
“I shared it on Namibia’s social media pages and within seconds, family members responded. I finally found Otto,” she said.
Discovery came with painful news
“I was told that he might not remember me or my mother. My heart broke when I heard this, knowing I still carried so many unanswered questions,” she said.
Meeting Otto
Terrified and unsure of what to expect, Davids reached out. Her only wish was to meet him and learn about a hidden part of her past.
A week later, she travelled to Namibia with her family to finally meet Otto.
“I told myself I did not want to meet him in a coffin — I wanted to meet him while he was still alive,” Davids told New Era.
She says seeing her biological father for the first time was overwhelming.
“I stood before his bed and introduced myself. He could not speak and only nodded as the family stood around us. I smiled on the outside, but inside my heart shattered. Part of me asked God why; another part felt grateful. I felt no anger towards him — only compassion as he looked fragile,” an emotional Davids said.
Healing and care
As their relationship slowly developed, not everyone approved of it. She says the family’s reaction was not all positive.
“Some family members no longer speak to me, and I have made peace with that. Most, however, have been deeply supportive,” she said.
Her grandmother from her deceased father’s side, reassured her that she would always be part of the family.
Currently Otto is visiting and will spend Christmas with her.
A different kind of Christmas
“This Christmas will be special. I feel emotional and excited. I am taking Otto to Bonnievale, to my mother’s home. It feels strange, but life is worth living even when it doesn’t make sense to others. Our choices shape our paths,” Davids said.
Reflecting on past losses, she says visiting her parents’ graves and that of her daughter will be much easier this year.
“I used to visit three graves on Christmas, but this year I will have my biological father with me. Christmas can once again become a time of healing and giving,” she said.
A message of hope
She says her story is one of second chances and forgiveness.
“Don’t let past mistakes rob you of a hopeful future. Healing comes through forgiveness. Forgiveness is not for those who hurt you — it is for you. Forgiveness is action. Not everyone will understand your choices, but if you believe they align with God’s will, follow them. Do not fear failure or rejection. Failure is feedback. Rejection is redirection,” Davids said.
Her father’s reflection
Rickerts said his late mother had kept Davids’ baby photographs for decades and showed them to him again just two weeks before her death. When he later saw a recent photograph of Davids, he did not immediately recognise her, until family members pointed out that she closely resembles his youngest daughter, Nadia.
“I am grateful that this reunion finally happened. My hope is that we can move forward together and have a good future as a family, with all four of my children,” he said.