I had such a hard time this year, juggling between work, school, being a mom and still having a life (achieving other set goals). It has not been easy at all. I’m so used to making things happen for myself and when they don’t, I usually take it hard, so instead I try and try and just keep trying. I was on sleeping pills at some point in my life this year, can you imagine? A 25-year-old on sleep medication!
A friend once asked me: “But when do you get to live your life Sesilia?” because I was always so busy, trying to do everything at once. I used to be so hard on myself. I still am, just a little (still getting over it). I would stress about owning a house, a car, a walk-in cupboard, 20 pairs of Louboutins, handbags, accessories, etc. All I really want right now is to have a full tank all week, outfits, nails and hair on point every day. I want to do exceptionally well in school but still make it home early to make dinner. I don’t want debts, I want to wear nice clothes, but I also can’t afford to buy all my clothes cash even, I mean, I still have to eat, don’t I? Eish! I thought having a job meant that you had more money to spend on just about anything that you need.
Sometimes I wish I had worked longer, I wish I had both worked and gone to school before now too. I wish I could be in two places at the same time. I wish I had multiple extra incomes just flowing into my account on a daily basis. I look at my role models in their mid-40s and wonder in amazement how they have it all together, it’s so amazing isn’t it? While I’m just here in my early 20s trying to catch up. I want to make it too, today even!
Is this what I grew up for? To chase and chase all day long? The struggle! Are these typical young people problems?
Ambition is a wonderful thing, but you know what? Life has processes, and if you really want to make it and last long in the game, you’re going to have to be patient with yourself and go through different stages. Hold on to your ambition, hold on to your dreams, but don’t let the hustle and bustle rob you of your life. Have your priorities in check and just be yourself. Being young is about putting in the work, it’s about doing the math in your mind before you buy an item. So don’t dismay, you are on the right track. It’s okay not to have it all together right now. Keep dreaming about that life that you want. It might not happen right now, it may not even happen next year, but one day, if you stay focused and committed to the course, if you take good care of yourself, and still give your best then you will also shake hands with the First Lady of the United States.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, even when others seem to make it faster or easier, it’s okay, you don’t know their story, and truth is you might never know. You have your own race to run. Trust God’s intentions for your life, be yourself, stay true and do your own thing, you will get there! We will all get there eventually.
• Sesilia Nekwaya is a young economist at the Bank of Namibia but writes in her personal and private capacity, striving to inspire and motivate fellow young people.