It is rare to open the dailies, listen to the radio or watch TV without coming across a story of murder or an attempt to inflict harm as a result of gender-based violence (GBV). It is a topic widely discussed in Namibia, with solutions being suggested but not implemented.
Gender, relationship and behavioural commentator Ngamane Karuaihe-Upi, also known as Uncle G.E.P, said there are many root causes of GBV, citing envy by men as one of them. “Inequality leads to the envy of men towards women, and that ultimately causes them to inflict harm onto women,” stated Karuaihe-Upi.
He said women, in general, from birth, are gifted with immense power – emotionally and psychologically. “Men are envious of women and what they can do,” he said.
He opined that when one traces back and studies culture, anthropology, the history of humankind and spirituality, women are known as the custodians of culture.
“Envy manifests itself in terms of our cultures and religion. When we are talking about the root causes of GBV, we should stop looking at domestic violence because the root cause of GBV is gender-based inequalities,” stated Karuaihe-Upi, further suggesting if we do away with inequality, we could do away with GBV.
“The violence is the child of inequality, and inequality is about the oppression of the female energy. What further leads to more violence is men being rebellious to women asserting themselves to different roles in society; we (men) are resisting – that’s way up,” explained Karuaihe-Upi
Have Namibian parents been raising killers?
The best possible way to critically observe a person’s inappropriate behaviour is to track down their history. Karuaihe-Upi said there is imperial evidence that children imitate what they see, observe and experience. “Children do what you do; they don’t do what you say. The chances of children becoming murderers or violent because they have observed that is very high,” he said.
Karuaihe-Upi said behaviours in societies are normalised. “When a child sees their parent smoking, they don’t reprimand them. Instead, they will go and do exactly what they have seen.
“When they grow up, that’s exactly what they will end up doing. The same goes for drinking alcohol; they will end up doing it because they have been exposed to such a setup and environment,” Karuaihe-Upi stated.
With life, everything comes as a choice; in the essence of a person distinguishing right from wrong, Karuaihe-Upi said life is learned behaviour.
“When a parent can tell a child between right and wrong from an early age, things would be different. You will not be able to differentiate life events on your own as a child – you will need guidance from the elders,” said Karuaihe-Upi.
He gave reference to instincts that work with human beings. “Let’s refer to thirst for a moment, unless it is through learned behaviour and exposure, a child will learn the difference between paraffin, water, vinegar and vodka – they all look the same. If you put all these in front of a thirsty child, he or she will drink any; unless they were told at an early age to differentiate,” explained Karuaihe-Upi.
He said when it comes to violence, children easily pick up habits.
“Kids see, learn and are taught. Life is learned behaviour – whether it is self-taught or by someone else,” he stated.
Karuaihe-Upi detailed the essence of stability in children.
“When children’s stability is violated, they become violent.
A child inherits skills and attributes from the father, which is decisiveness and direction; from the mother, it is nurturing, compassion and care.
These things, together, make you human. If one of them is missing, like an absent father, that largely contributes to children being imbalanced. Due to the emptiness and void, they feel unstable,” narrated Karuaihe-Upi.
At the 10th congress of the Pan-African Women’s Organisation (PAWO), President Hage Geingob called on the organisation to address and discuss issues of GBV in societies, citing gender parity as a result of frustration and aggression.
The neglected boy child
“Men are always seen as superior, so what assistance do boys need,” rhetorically questioned Karuaihe-Upi when asked on why the boy child is being neglected.
He said a six-year-old boy is already treated like a prince.
“Some parents will say their boy will not wash dishes. They (boys) are kind of favoured already from birth and while growing up; there is no learning on the part of the boy child because he is put on a pedestal,” detailed Karuaihe-Upi.
He gave an example of the Olufuko Festival, which prepares girls for womanhood but nothing happens of such nature for boys.
“When you say the boy child has been left behind, it has always been the case in many ways.
“That’s why men are ruthless, unruly and uncultured.
“The grooming and guidance of men have not been there,” robustly mentioned Karuaihe-Upi.
He expressed his disappointment with the sudden and abrupt focus on the boy child.
“All of a sudden, now that the boy child is adversely affecting society, they need grooming and guidance, while it was never the focus or part of society to groom and guide them,” he said.
President Geingob last month said there is a need to re-educate the Namibian boy child, and that being told culturally to be strong does not mean they must kill women.
For the past five years, the Gender ministry, under the realm of Doreen Sioka, received My Gender is my Campaign award as a recognition for the progress made in promoting gender equality and the representation of women in key decision-making positions.
“The MGECW has put in place various measures aimed ar addressing GBV, and stakeholders continue to sensitise and train community members such as the youth adults, traditional leaders and gender focal persons on such issues, ” stated Sioka.With an alarming GBV prevalence rate of 33%, Namibia has seen drives such as the Love is Campaign, commemorating 16 days of activism and conducting male engagement programmes. ◆