I slept silently in my bed wondering what the root of my problems is.
I felt so empty inside because I had no one else left to cover the void that filled up within me. What did I really do to all the people that I thought loved me enough and would stick with me whatever I do? I remembered that I had a steamed up argument with my best friend. What caused the argument was really something simple that I thought will cause less harm. It was a little lie I told to my dearest friend, I didn’t tell her that the previous night I was out with her boyfriend. Somebody, and I don’t even know why they did tell her that he/she saw me with him the previous night. My trusting friend came and asks me where I was with her boyfriend, it was all with good purpose not that she thought we were doing something behind her back.
I didn’t think of it, instead I denied everything. I didn’t understand myself either, why did I have to lie about that then? I was not out doing anything wrong with him, which counts to both parties, right? My friend just looked at me with the accusing eyes that I noticed on her for the very first time. Ok, don’t take this wrong my friend trusted me and won’t mind me being with her boyfriend but the fact that I denied everything, and made it sounded like it was all a lie and made my friend think otherwise. Why else would I deny it? She quietly walked out with a wounded smile on her lips. Within me there was a thought that she was being a brat, little did I know that I had terribly hurt her feelings.
Tears streamed down my face as I remembered that I was boyfriend less.
Where did it all go wrong? I asked out loud. I screwed up, I realised a bit too late.
He is such a handsome boyfriend I had, one that girls envied but always stick with me. He thought I was worth every inch of him, his respect and all that he lived for. That lasted for long until that day, the day that I told that little lie. I lie a lot but mostly I get away with it but that day my lying luck was so gone. The whole issue began when I told a little lie about my whereabouts. Too bad the same place I truly was is yet the same place my boyfriend was. I was stupid enough not to ask about his whereabouts. Oh jeez what kind of serious girlfriend doesn’t ask such things?
My bad, I was just walking out of the Tornado Club with a glass of Bernini just to bump into my boyfriend with his friends conducting a school survey in town. Shame was written all over my face that I didn’t dare talk to him. It’s not a case if I drink but the problem comes in when I have this two sides to me and my lying part. My boyfriend started ignoring me and so that implies that we were over because of my silly two sides.
When I came home my stress was tripled, the house was in total darkness because the $100 that momma gave me to buy electricity I gave to a friend that I owed as much. I told them that it got lost but somebody whom I wanted to be mad at told them the truth. How she found out I have no idea. Nobody talked to me. I had my problems and had no one to talk to. In the night’s darkness I cried myself to sleep, wishing for tomorrow for me to do amends and fix my empty world and make it whole and full again. I realised that lying is the worst mistake in my life.
All in all when the truth will be unleashed, you hurt people that matters most and end up losing them all at once. I learnt my lesson, so should you.
Monika Martin is an 18-year-old girl who completed her Grade 12 this year at Ruacana High School. Her hometown is Onesi but she is currently residing in Windhoek. Monika has a passion for writing and writing is her first love. monikadolcy@gmail.com