Eish mara my first love is trying to be funny these days. My first love is trying to make a mockery of the codes that govern her role as my first love. Because there are codes to this thing ekse. Codes that I will be very happy to share just in case your unsophisticated self is clueless…AGAIN. Jirrie! Radio is my first love. Every person on planet earth has specific taste mos of mati? Commercial radio is my taste. I can’t stand campus radio because that’s just hopeless dreams and despair. Community radio is that clingy one. MISS ME with that. Government-controlled radio is one of those #ThreeMonthsIntoTheRelationship and than boom “when are we getting married?”. Wuuuuuug. So commercial radio is my /namsaro. My mouth waters like the Naute Dam when commercial radio comes to mind. I bite my lips with squinty eyes like Piet Potgieter in that Land of the Brave movie when snuffing out a good story. I may have moved unto other things and met other people like print, MC, and acting…mara if commercial radio calls me right now, you bet your #ImOlderThanYourMother a$$ that I’m going to answer! I know, I know, abusive much, manipulative much…but I don’t care! We all have that first love that has that kinda effect on you. Like I was saying earlier…my first love been acting up. My first love knows that the number one fundamental code is that advertisements are QUEEN (I would’ve said King but well, I don’t have the energy to be dealing with feminists today)! Advertisements are to radio, what Oupa Nujoma is to the governing party. Don’t f**k with advertisements. Advertisements pay for EVERYTHING omes. You cannot be a radio presenter on commercial radio and kama be annoyed with advertisements. Who the hell do you think you are? Renier Arangies? As much as the listener is important along with content…ads are that practical uncle in the family that gets sh*t done! Never in the history of Namibian radio has a listener paid for a radio stations’ upkeep. And that will never happen. We all tog know ourselves.
Namibians will spaza you with lip service “yes we are behind you” and when push comes to shove…you’ll be there alone to face Scar in the Etosha National Park. #BaseFM. So asb, first love…just because you think you can call me at 3 am does not mean you can disrespect the mother of all codes, advertisements. Do not get carried away by listeners’ perceived love for you. It’s cold on these streets. Listeners will find the next best thing faster than Ome Hage’s clap backs.! Play advertisements as scheduled. Do not make inflammatory comments like “let’s quickly visit the market place and will be right back”. It’s inflammatory because you’re suggesting that advertisements are just…nje, something you HAVE to do. Especially in these times of Covid-19, one needs to consolidate your advertisers and keep them happy! No commercial radio station can afford to lose a client now. You do everything in your power to hold on to a client and in the same vein score new ones. So asb my first love, behave amae. My love letter to you. Kisses (wet kisses).
Until the next loop, we say “GMTM”!
NSK is a professional MC. For bookings, email naobebsekind@gmail.com
@naobebsekind (twitter)