Steven Klukowski
IT is generally accepted parking meters are there to regulate vehicle parking and to generate income for the traffic department.
They are normally strategically erected at places where the traffic flow is heavily congested and adequate parking space for all motorists an unrealistic goal. Contrary to these fixed machines, which are permanent structures, one can also find mobile, human parking meters (MHPM’s) in today’s life. A visit to our notorious Laeveld business area (in Khomasdal), where the watering hole is also situated will link you directly with one or more of these people. Once you reached the entrance, a tall guy will usually approach you, greeting and asking, “Is jy oraait?” (Are you OK? In Afrikaans) Your first impression will be like “but this is actually not such a bad place if people greet you first and enquire about your well-being?” What you don’t know is that this guy will ask you the very same question after every minute of your stay there. This can really become annoying at times.
These guys (MHPM’s) do however posses excellent strategies to apply in how to solicit money (which you have not budgeted for) from you. The favourite scenario will be when this guy/girl becomes your distant cousin out of the blue, enquiring where you have been all the time and how your family is doing? As soon as you start to respond to this, the ‘zoela’ tactics will kick in. “Ai my laanie, ek kort tog asseblief net ‘n N$5, wil tog net ‘n chao koop,” which translates as please boss, I am only short of N$5.00, just want to buy food. If you fall for this once, chances are good that you will end up with N$50 less in your pocket by the time you leave that place.
If you think you can dissuade these guys by declining their request then you are in for a surprise! “Gaan maak maar eers klaar en kyk hulle as jy uitkom” meaning first go finish your business inside and see what you can give me once you are done. I believe by now you will out of sheer frustration empty your pocket/wallet and give this person all your coins under N$5 just to get rid of him/her. They got you my friend, you will only realize later that you have actually given this person (HMPM) more than the requested N$5! Beware of the day that they label you a soft target. You can keep on visiting different watering holes and shopping centres, but you will always find another HMPM there! By now you should know why they are called human mobile parking meters since you have to part with your hard earned ‘moela’ every time that they spot you (the same like dropping coins in a parking meter every time you want parking). On the other hand one should have empathy with them, but what good purpose can it serve if their sole aim in life is to beg for money every day just to buy alcohol? Be it as it may, one will sometimes hate and other times like these human mobile parking meters! Till next time.