The school year has reached its end. It has been months of teaching and learning, extramural activities, assessments, and examinations. 

Out of the 196 days allocated for the academic year, we have reached the finish line—and now the exam results are here. But what happens if some results are not what we hoped for? What if some learners are not advancing to the next grade? Parents, what if your child is not progressing? Before we belittle, demean, or speak harshly to our children, we must first reflect critically on our own role as parents. 

What contributions did we make toward our child’s education? 

Did we support them from the moment they started school? 

And how did we support them?\ 

Did we remind them to read, complete homework, or pack their books? 

Did we supervise reading? 

Did we guide them during study time? 

Did we review their books and assignments? 

Did we discuss their mock examination performance? 

Did we ever visit the school without being summoned? 

How many parent meetings did we attend? 

How many one-on-one conversations did we have with their teachers? 

Some parents supported heavily, some moderately, and some sporadically—and that is fine. What matters now is how we react when a child does not pass. Our reaction influences the child’s emotional, mental, and future well-being. How a parent responds can shape a child’s resilience, confidence, self-esteem, and motivation. Parental reaction can either uplift or deeply harm a child’s mental, psychological, and spiritual outlook. 

Therefore, parents should consider the following: 

1. Avoid shouting at your child. Refrain from degrading remarks or labels such as “failure,” “disgrace,” or comparisons like “you’re stupid like your mother or father.” Remain calm and supportive. Your reaction teaches your child how to handle challenges and setbacks. Be present and reassure them that this setback can be overcome together. 

2. Acknowledge their feelings. Recognise that your child already feels embarrassed or ashamed. Approach them with empathy, offer emotional support, and help them find ways to improve. 

3. Teach them that failure is part of life. Even adults fail in business, relationships, decisions, and more. Help them understand that failure is also a lesson and often the first step toward success. 

4. Focus on effort, not only outcomes. Many children struggle silently and may even experience extreme emotional distress over academic challenges. Share your own failures to help them see that setbacks do not define their future. 

5. Hold them accountable constructively. Set consequences that guide rather than embarrass. Stay involved, stay present, and offer consistent support. 

6. Create an action plan for next year. Repeating a grade is not the end of the world. It can be a second chance to build stronger foundations. 

Education is a shared responsibility between the parent, the child, and the teacher. When results are disappointing, we reflect—we do not blame. Outcomes are influenced by many interconnected factors. Improvement requires unity; blaming the teacher, principal, or school director will not contribute to nation-building or development. Together, let’s build resilience. With patience, support and belief, your child can rise stronger than ever; this is just one chapter, not the whole story. Remember that examinations do not define the child’s future – parental encouragement does, and that makes all the difference. To those who performed well, congratulations in advance. For the rest, try again next year. Giving up should never be an option. 

Aletta Eises, Former Director of Education, Oshikoto region.Founder of VisionCore (NGO), Education, Youth and Well-being advocate Life coach