The article ‘Don’t trade your dignity for lipstick’, sent ripples of mixed emotions across the country and had a lot of people feeling really inspired and excited. But as usual – perhaps because of the reality of the situation – others were angry and very offended – as they should be – because if the shoe fits, then why not?
Some were pointing fingers at others, but then again somebody out there needs to hear that it’s really not worth it. That’s not why I’m writing about today. I come in peace.
I write, because once upon a time I was a young girl and I looked up to Beyonce and every now and then I would browse through the magazines to look at what she was wearing, read stories about her life, the gossip etc., and I was determined to dance like her one day. I would dance in my mother’s sitting room after school, because I read somewhere that practise makes perfect.
One day, we had a motivational speaker at school, who spoke to us about the importance of role models. He mentioned that we are very much likely to become like our role models. I was extremely excited as I thought this was an opportunity for me to be like Beyonce. And then I pondered the issue; how much do I really love dancing?
Do I love it enough to pursue a career in dancing? And how long will I dance for before my body kicks in and what will I do after that? Lastly, was I ready to face my mom? The answers to these questions were not satisfying to me at all. And so I decided to change my role model and to date I can closely say that I’m becoming very much like her and I love it.
But one thing I really want to make clear to young people out there, is that people who made it (the rich and famous, as well as the successful role models) and all those people who have built names for themselves, have all been through thick and thin, they had to conquer challenges on their way to the top and guess what? They still face challenges.
They didn’t take shortcuts, but instead they ran the race and completed the whole nine yards, or whatever they say. Here is why it’s so dangerous to take a short cut: if you get lost/stuck somewhere then it’s hard for you to trace your way back, because you didn’t take time to learn all that you needed to.
And if you choose to take the same shortcut back to where you started then you still have to take the long route to the finish line again, in my view, this is a total waste of time.
It is always so hard to start over, because a lot of things come into play, such as age, finances and other circumstances, as opposed to enduring and taking notes on your way to the top – which you can make reference to anytime you get stuck.
When you choose a role model, you need to ask yourself whether you are ready to walk in their footsteps. Did they leave any steps on their way up for you to follow? What is admirable about the person that you want to be like? Which parts of their challenges are tolerable to you?
Not all that glitters is gold, my friend. People are driving expensive cars, while their fridges at home in their town houses are empty. People are living in debt and here you are wishing you were like them. Are you ready to owe the bank your entire freedom?
Another thing, do you know how much pressure you are putting on that boyfriend just so he can please you? Do you know that he has to bend over backwards just to buy you that branded handbag and watch, all because you want to keep up with the latest trends?
You don’t want to live within your means, but you also don’t want to work for it. That girl in class that you admire so much, the one who changes Brazilian hair left right and centre, and always smells good, did you know that she had to wreck a home for that? Are you ready to walk down that road?
Okay! But just so you know, there’s nothing wrong with working at your own pace. Mistakes are inevitable and we learn from them, yes, but there is a reason why some people have gone before us and they now show us the way.
Proverbs 22:1 says a good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. Even those that take shortcuts face challenges, but are these challenges worth any praise, are they enough to make them heroes?
What is a hero? Can they show you their bravery? I believe that some challenges in life can be avoided. Some of them are not necessary, so you really don’t want to go there. Hold on to your values, and if you really want someone to look up to, look up to someone with honourable values.
* Sesilia Nekwaya is a young inspirational writer with a great passion for young people. With the articles she writes she hopes to inspire other young people to make wiser and informed choices.