In a world of many people that come and go, there are some that will leave a mark on you. Some deserve more appreciation then they get. This is my letter to them:
“I close my eyes to meditate. Thoughts come pouring out, people who mean the world to me seem to only come to mind when my eyes are closed. Whenever I close them, I see them, I know who they are, I know how I feel about them, I even know what to say to them, but only when I close my eyes.
When my eyes are open, I struggle to call out their names, I can’t remember their facial features, I can’t even remember why they mean so much to me. All I see are the people around me. Nine out of ten of the people that I see with open eyes, I never see with my eyes closed, they can’t stay in my thoughts without them being physically present around me. Are my eyes fooling me, are my thoughts playing a joke on me or am I fooling myself?
Why does their absence not affect me, why can’t they stick if they are the ones nearest me? Why is my heart rejecting them? My brain can’t recall a time they wronged me, if anything, I have happy and joyous memories with them. Things we did together that I will forever be grateful for, but why can’t I see them with my eyes closed? I don’t understand who is to blame, them? My eyes? My heart? My brain? More importantly who can answer these questions?
I close my eyes to pray. I always start by thanking the Lord for the people in my life and I always end by sending blessings to the people I see with closed eyes. I haven’t seen them in years and months, I haven’t spoken to them, I don’t know what is going on in their lives, do they even remember me, do they still consider me a friend, does my absence and silence hurt them as much as theirs hurt me?
When times are tough and tears want to escape my eyes, I need them, their physical presence is not as important as their presence in any form, I need to call them, I need them even if only for their attentive ear, even if only to tell me am a horrible person and friend, it’s better than not hearing from them. You are real and honest. You will never know how important and impactful you are in my life.
These ‘friends’ around me will never be you, they just don’t get it and I look stupid and weird trying to explain it to them. My head says they mean well, but my heart says otherwise. We talk sense to each other, but we aren’t speaking the same language.”
Say less, think loud!
*Olavi Popyeinawa has a Diploma in Alternative Dispute Resolution and is currently studying law, LLB at the University of Namibia (Unam). He will weekly be contributing this column on youth mattersInstagram: niceguy_olavi Facebook: Olavi Longfellow Twitter: @OlaviPopyeinawa
2018-08-22 09:28:08 4 months ago