No remorse, none whatsoever

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It was with divine pleasure, anticipation, and contemplation on what was yet to come. My heart was overwhelmed with excitement. It’s the moment I have waited for all this time. From the comfort of my small environment, to the world that awaits me. I wish there was someone with me, to share these emotions with.

The thought of what I was, and what I am now is incredible. Finally, I have a brain, I have got all my organs, and I’m fully functional. I can move and kick now. I’m amazed. It’s just a matter of days now. I look forward to the future, and the world that I’m yet to see, to live, experience and conquer.

What’s exquisite about my thoughts is the vision of the world I want to live in, full of hope and dreams. A world I am yet to make my own, a world of milk and honey (by that I mean a world of opportunities). I am to live in that world, hmmmm, but what if it’s a cold world out there? What if it’s rainy and no sunshine? Do I want to live in that world? Hush! You evil thought.

I’m on my way. The time is here. I have a mission to accomplish and will ensure that it’s executed accordingly. I have to be the example, the inspiration, the life that is heaven-sent, motivating, and encouraging.

I have to be the voice of the voiceless, the ears of the deaf, the eyes of the blind, and the one that gives hope when there seems to be none. I am the change she needs, towards her perception of life, her dreams and aspirations.

The moment is finally here, I’ll live to discover. Ooh! There is silence, for a moment. I’m panicking. Should I be worried? After a minute I hear the cry, I’m confused. There is a struggle, and then I am flabbergasted with the realisation that I am out of my little small world. Is this it, where am I? I am gasping for air, I don’t seem to cope in this state, Lord help me, I cried out.

Oops, she had not reacted one bit to my arrival, she is stone cold. My excitement is short-lived, she is sobbing, and I wish I could help. Abruptly she rises from her position, I am still tangled up in this rope (umbilical cord), and then she grabs a towel, takes a string, ties a rope and cuts it off. She wraps me up in the towel and cleans herself up.

She isn’t affected by my cry. She decides to dump me under a shrub along the riverbed and walks away, with no remorse. I’m confused. I thought she loved me. Why would she carry me for all these months, and yet decide to leave me in this cold and abysmal state.

Behold, He heard my cry, an angel came and rescued me. I am saved. “All is well with her”, that is what the doctors told the nurses. I could hear them say, “It’s a miracle that she is alive.”

They don’t understand. I needed to live. I could not give up, for I am on a mission. Many have not made it, but I had too, for our sake. I live to testify the greatness of the Lord. I live to portray His immense power, I live to speak to that pregnant woman, who is about to give up, to inform her that God is in control.

He is able to change any situation, with just the gift of the fruit of the womb. Before thinking of dumping the next me, remember: “God’s plans are not our plans”. Every soul deserves a chance at life.

 

* Riitha Kanuni is national executive member of the Namibia Young Women Association (NYWA), and a Youth Leadership Development Programme (YLDP) graduate from Katji-na-Katji village.