Values and morals are relative to an individual. Every time a choice is made repeatedly it sets the precedent and inevitably becomes the standard. The difference between values and morals is simply from where they stem, with the former being a personal standard and the latter a societal standard. Societal standards are generally easy to abide by because they are defined by social etiquette, whereas where we generally falter is personal standards.
When speaking about teaching people how to treat you, we spend a majority of the time focused on everyone but ourselves. The energy is directed at who afflicts the treatment, and never so much on what we allow. The discussion is predominately about everything done wrong towards us, and rarely about the environment we create that would allow one to either mistreat or respect oneself. Self-regulation is defined as the process of making decisions, and is relative to making a good decision that is beneficial in the long run. It is choosing to make the tough decisions even when they are harder to make, and creating an environment that is conducive to your self-betterment. To ensure that you are treated in a manner that you deserve and begin the process of teaching people how to treat you, it is essential that you have mastered self-regulation. The disparity that arises between your morals and values, and your ability to self-regulate to uphold your morals and standards creates the gap in which people then treat you less than you deserve. It is not so much about the treatment you attract, but the standard to which you hold yourself, because in truth, people treat you how you treat yourself.
One cannot spend time speaking about how you want to be treated and your actions towards yourself falter in relation. In the event that what you desire is consistency from others, then you have to have consistency within yourself. It means that when you commit to a task at hand, you see it through, because when you uphold what you desire, you will not tolerate anything less from someone else. It is in that, that you learn to decipher what you will tolerate and what you will not, because in self-regulation lies your ability to communicate to others how you want to be treated. It starts with you.
*Mavis Braga Elias is a Civil Engineer by qualification and a Marketing Officer by profession. A philanthropist at heart and founder of the EM Love Foundation. She won the Vivid Philanthropist award in 2015 and the Queens Young Leaders Awards 2018. Find her on Twitter – @mavisbraga