There is no formula for surviving depression, but there are ways we can cope from it that would make our healing journey easier. If you think you are the only one not killing it, you are not. You are not alone on this journey and as much as 2020 has been throwing every broken brick towards us, it is only right that I send some encouragement your way.
When you go through social media, it might seem like you are the only one with a ton of problems weighing you down. You might feel like you are not fitting into your clique because you do not have the right clothes and or money, all because of peer pressure.
You are not the only one and quite frankly, you do not have to change yourself to fit in. You might feel like you are failing as a mother to your children because you cannot give them that toy car that they have been crying for the longest time, reminder; you are doing just fine.
The pressure to want to be overworked and have a successful career in order to be valuable and fall into perfect achievement is very high, and because of this, you might easily fall into depression without knowing it. It is very easy to fall into that abyss and coming out of it is even more difficult. So, here are a few things that I thought would be helpful towards that.
It is of paramount importance that you remember that social media is not real. It is easy to stay away from the internet and take a social media break, but with that in mind, you have to remember that, it is easy to fall for the idea that everyone has a perfect life on social media and that you are failing at it. If need be, that sometimes you are running a business online, choose who to follow.
Choose to follow motivational people and not influencers who will sell you the idea that when you fail, it is seen as socio-economic or cultural inferiority.
Secondly, you need to constantly go into hiatus whenever you can. This also means that you need not work 24/7 every day. Given the norm where you have to do many jobs to make ends meet, allow yourself to have a warm bath every now and then. It won’t hurt to put yourself first. You are not superman; you are a warrior that sometimes also needs rest.
Thirdly, you need to remember that it is okay for you to ask for help when things hit the fan and you do not know what to do.
There is no shame in asking for help when you need it. With this said, always make sure you have to also challenge the social order, question whether your values are in alignment with your lifestyle and whether you are happy. There is no shame in starting over if you make a wrong career choice. Rather your happiness than mental health. You got this.
Yours sincerely,
Your beloved child
• Frieda Mukufa’s lifestyle section concentrates on women-related issues and parenting every Friday in the New Era newspaper.