By Frederick Philander
Two youngsters enter the arena, dancing on the beat of African township music from a gheto-blaster. Ou Six grabs Handjievol and they dance on the beat of the music. The youngsters move on, leaving the three behind.
An out of breath Gloria exclaims.
“Oh, where are my days?”
Seated on the riempie chair.
“I didn’t know you could also dance, auntie Gloria?” Ghoetoe flatters her.
“I think she is a much better pap cook,” Ou Six says eating some porridge.
Gloria from behind the counter.
“Ghoetoe, when you are finished eating, will you please chop me some wood for the fire?”
“Sure. How can I ever refuse to do something for you? Jy’s mos my auntie.’ In fact I will do it right away,” the young man says getting up and start chopping some wood in the background.
An old man approaches the stall, noticed by those present.
The man sings happily.
“Daar kom ‘n hoender aan. Hy het ‘n bloomer aan. Wat sal die ander hoender se? Hy het ‘n kam op sy kop en sy poepol is omgedop. Wat sal die ander hoender se?”
“Wat het ons alles hier vandag, die lokasie mannekoor?” Gloria observes.
To Ou Six pointing at the new arrival.
“Ek se my broer, kyk wat kom hier aan.'”
Turning around on bar stool.
“Wat’s dit, ‘n nagspook op dagdiens?” Ou Six calls out with both men laughing.
“Lyk vir my hy’t iewers op ‘n plek wakker geskrik,” says Ghoetoe.
“Who is it?,” Ou Six inquires.
Recognizing the man Gloria tells them.
“It’s Oom Booi Meerkeel.'”
“Ja, sy keel vra altyd vir meer, wyn,” Ou Six says with both men laugh unstoppably.
“He, hou op katterig wees met die ou man,” Gloria reprimands them.
Ou Booi passes Ou Six who pokes fun at him.
“He, ou skilpad,” he says hitting the old man on his buttocks.
Ou Booi comically jumps out of harms way.
“Oe, jou moer, aga ek meen.’ Hond-se-kont.’ Hoe laat jy my skrik,” the old timer exclaims.
Persisting in his mockery.
“Roer jou litte, Ou Stadig”‘
“Stop making fun of the old man,” Gloria scolds Ou Six.
Approaching the counter the old mount reacts angrily.
“Go play with your mothers, skollies.’ Ek is kind se pa, nie julle se speelmaat nie,” Ou Booi says threateningly with his walking stick. “Ek het sommer lus en moer julle,” he says hitting out at Ghoetoe.
“Ag, Ou Booi, jy kan nie eers ‘n duik in ‘n drol slaan nie, laat staan nog baklei,” Ou Six tells the man.
“Dis waar, die bleddie suurstof-dief,” is Ghoetoe’s opinion about the old man unable to fight.
“Van ‘n regte dief gese, ja,” Booi retaliates in defending himself verbally.
In a friendly tone of voice Gloria invites the old man to sit down.
“Come sit over here, Oom Booi,” she orders escorting him to a seat.
“Thank you, child,” Booi says appreciatively sitting down.
“What are you having for breakfast this morning, Oom Booi, slap pap, Matabele pap?” the vendor inquires.
“Ag, I don’t think I will be able to afford any pap today.”
Concerned.
“What is wrong?” she asks.
“Everything; the arthritis and my old legs are both giving me a hard time. But I will pay you next week, if it’s all right with you. Daai pap van jou ruik darem nou al te lekker. My maag voel kompleet as of my keel afgesny is,” he says eyeing the porridge on the counter, “Don’t worry, Oom Booi. Today everything is on the house for you,” Gloria announces to the dismay of the other two.
“On the house?” Ghoetoe wants to know getting up.
“Verniet pap?” the old time says totally caught off guard.
“That’s right,” Gloria confirms.
“Then I will have some more porridge, too,” Ou Six demands.’
“Me, too,” says Ghoetoe holding out a plate to Gloria in front of the counter.
Threateningly to both men with her broom.
“Julle twee stoepsitters can go to hell,” she says with the men retiring to their seats.
“Here Oom Booi, have some nice porridge,” the vendor says offering the old man a big and overloaded plate.
Greedily looking at porridge.
“Hoeeeee.’ Wie se groot bord pap is die?” Booi wants to know.
“Its yours, Oom Booi.”
“Jislaaik, dis dan so min,” he observes.
“Sy oe is al weer groter as sy pens,” Ghoetoe says.
“Die man is honger, kan julle nie sien nie?” Gloria defends her customer.
“Sy soort word honger gebore, die vraat,” Ou Siz insults the man.
Unperturbed.
“This porridge looks very nice, Gloria, but please put some nai-jou-muis on it,” Booi says holding out the plate.
Puzzled.
“What, Oom Booi?”
“Nai-jou-muis.’ That white stuff in a bottle one puts on the food,” Booi tries to explain.
“Oh, you mean mayonnaise?”
“That’s the one. I like it very much,” he replies with a satisfied smile on his face.
“Sorry, I don’t have any today.”
“Then some sieterpielietjie will do. It gives the food a nice flavor,” suggests an alternative to flavour up the porridge.
“Jou luck is uit, Oom Booi. Nothing of that either.”
“It’s a pity. Oh, well, then I will have to do without it. But let me first pray, Booi religiously announces. “Oubaas Kaalkop,’ sit op die tafel.’ Doem-doem, Amen.'”
Booi takes a huge junk to eat and suffocates at it. Gloria realizes this. She hits on his back in an afford to revive him, but nothing happens.
Panic-stricken Gloria calls for help.
“Hey, julle.’ Don’t just stand there. Bring some water. The man is suffocating.”
An unmoved Ou Six observes.
“Dis van uitgevreetgeid dat hy stik.”
Gloria again hits him on the back. This time the old man spits porridge out, but immediately grabs at another junk from the plate in Gloria’s hand.
“If you got more, you can give,” he says eating
In total astonishment.
“Jislaaik.’ I have never seen anyone recover so quickly,” Ghoetoe exclaims.
“He must be Super Grandpa,” comments Ou Six.
Burping.
“So, ja. Nou kan ek weer hou totlat die kinners uit die skool kom,” Ou Booi says stroking his stomach. “Thank you, Gloria.”
“Not to mention, Oom Booi. I was only doing my Christian duty.”
“The rest of the porridge you can wrap up as a take-away for my wife, Sanna. Sy vrek ook van die honger daar by die huis.'”
Gloria wraps the plate in an old newspaper. A sudden commotion erupts to the left.
“What the hell is going on?” a concerned Ou Six calls ou getting up from the riempie chair.
A frightened, but drunken female runs up to the stall.
“Here, Gloria, help my asseblief.’ Hy gaan my dood maak,” she calls out hiding behind the vendor for protection.
“Who wants to kill you?” a baffled and worried Gloria asks.
“My husband, Soon.”
“Why?” Gloria wants to know at the very moment a bare-chest, pick-handle wielding man enters the arena.
“Oh my God.’ There he comes now. Asseblief laat ek tog net hier iewerste wegkruip. He is going to kill me,” she says quickly diving for cover behind the counter.
Realizing the danger to the others.
“Well, don’t just stand there en ginnegaap.’ Do something of is julle ‘n klomp papbroeke?” Gloria demands.
Moving from the bar stool.
“Liewerste Bang Jan as Dooie Jan. I know when I am not needed as gevaar dreig,” Ou Booi says.
“I don’t want to be involved in this huismoles shit,” expresses his opinion.
The man approaches the counter, viciously.
“Where is she?”
Playing innocent Gloria asks.
“Who?”
“My bloody wife.’ I know she is here somewhere.’ Hol mos alewig hiernatoe as of jy haar ma is,” he says trying to get behind the counter but is blocked with a firm hand by Ou Six.
“Not so fast, Mister. If you want your wife, you first have to deal with me, a real man,” Ou Six boasts.
“A real man, you say?” Soon says looking the man up and down.
“Yes,” Ou Six replies challengingly.
“Los liewerste die man uit voordat jy tronk toe gaan vir miggie-moord, Ou Six,” Ghoetoe warns his partner.
“I am the best in the fighting business, solank dit a fair fight is,” Ou Six shows off his fighting prowess with a few steps like a boxer. “Floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, me.’
Ghoetoe steps up to Soon, seriously warning him.
“Ou pal, luister na goeie raad. As jy jou lewe liefhet, don’t try your luck with Ou Six. Hy gaan jou net karnuffel met sy vuiste.”
“Ja, daar hang tien mens kopbene agter sy kamerdeur by die huis. Moenie laat joune die elfde een wees nie,” Ou Booi chimes in.
“Dis waar. Ou Six se hande is al geweeg. Die poelies het gese hy mag nie meer baklei nie,” Ghoetoe warns again.
“Fok die poeliese en jou.’ I am not scared of this bastard or anybody else,” Soon angrily explodes.
“Very brave of you, but stupid,” Ghoetoe says.
“Why the hell I am still listening to you, I don’t know,” Soon says confronting
Ou Six by looking him straight in the eyes. “To me he looks more like a bangbroek sissie,” he says pushing Ou Six away.
Also pushing his opponent away.
“Touch is a move, brother,” Ou Six challenges.
Getting between the two opponents.
“You have asked for this, Soon,” Ghoetoes pleads with him.
Pushing Ghoetoes aside.
“Get out of my way.’ I want to fight this koffie-moffie fair and square,” Soon says angrily.
“Stand aside,” Ou Six says pushing Ghoetoe aside. “Laat hy sy pak soos ‘n man kom vat.’
“Nou gaan die kak wit sit,” Ou Booi says as the tow men grab each other.