This past weekend, I spent it watching my mother tend to my younger siblings and her grandchildren. To say I have newfound respect for her would slightly be an understatement. 

Between my younger brother asking her where he put his socks and the other asking her why she has not answered his question about why she has grey hair, I found myself admiring the strength and patience she has carried for years with me and my older siblings, and now with her grandchildren.

When I made up my mind to be a part of the generation of women who do not want children, it was not a decision I found and made in difficulty. Where many might assume that it is merely because of fear and perhaps the occasional explanation that there is simply no Namibian man worth my womb, I really just did not have any desire to do so. 

Again, coming back to the past weekend with my mother and her house full of bursting energy and curiosity, I have added a lack of patience to my many reasons why I cannot fathom wanting to bring another human into this world. 

While writing this, I have realised that being a mother just does not end, and quite frankly, I do love it for me because I will always have a mother on the other end to help me tell the neighbours that I am not a mbwiti because of my septum piercing or when she says I should allow her to cook in the scorching sun because of my periods trying to take me out. 

What I cannot, however, be thankful for when it comes to patience and my mother is the fact that she gets to do that forever. 

I do not think I have ever seen a mother, let alone a grandmother, who has ever had a moment to herself without constant questions, without breaking up fights because he and she started the fight first. 

I believe my lack of patience, and most probably the fact that I already have a very fast life and the need to be the one to bring my mother the space to rest and feel loved, will always precede the need to give her a grandchild. 

Most of our mothers and grandparents have not had a moment to themselves ever since they got married. 

They always had to tend to the husband, the in-laws, children and gather to tend to other women’s related issues.

As a tribute to my mother and the many women out there who do not have an off day when it comes to being a mother, I will dedicate my writing series to them until Mother’s Day. 

I will celebrate all of you and give you your flowers while you are still here. 

I will document experiences from all walks of life in which I have interacted with mothers and how best I can give them space to exist, even just on paper.

*Frieda Mukufa’s lifestyle section in the New Era concentrates on women-related issues and parenting. She specialises in editing research proposals, proofreading and content creation. – etuholefrieda@ gmail.com