When I first found out I was expecting, I was devastated and shocked. I remember the first time I went to see the doctor. He first enquired whether I am a student and I responded, ‘yes’.
He then said: “I’m sorry to inform you, but in nine months’ time your life will change. You are going to become a mother.” Hearing this so many thoughts came to my mind. How do I tell my mother? I asked myself.
I recall walking home from the hospital with several tears rolling down my cheeks. How will I look my mother in the eyes and tell her she’s going to be a grandmother?
I wasn’t ready to bring a child into this world. All my dreams suddenly seemed to fade and all kinds of questions were racing through my mind, mixed with so much confusion.
I completely gave up on myself, because pregnancy was the last thing I expected. The disappointments continued until the third trimester of my pregnancy. My studies were severely affected. I began to feel sick, didn’t attend some lectures and at times missed a test or two. My friends were very disappointed, especially with my not telling them.
They did speculate that I may be pregnant, but were not quite sure because I hadn’t told anyone. Despite some being disappointed in me a few actually encouraged me by saying that once I had given birth I should come back to school.
Despite hearing such encouraging words at the time, all that was on my mind was that I was still so young and now I was going to be a mother.
Being pregnant is no excuse for dropping out. If I had to look back I must say not going back to school the following year right after I had given birth was the biggest mistake I ever made, because it came with consequences.
I lost my government loan and having to be at home for another year was a waste of time. I could have used that time to go back to school and at least be in my second academic year.
But after a few months, and coming to terms that there’s nothing I could do about it, in the end my pregnancy became my motivation. My situation made me stronger because the entire year I worked out a strategy and told myself, ‘OK, next year I’m going back to school, clear all of my modules and complete my studies within three years’ time’.
Though the pregnancy made me negative at first, I always told myself: “I messed up but I was still young with the potential to go out there and reach my dreams.”
At times not all excuses students use to explain their pregnancy issues are valid.
In some instances you may find that the student are hampered because they had a bursary and once they get pregnant may lose the bursary. But in other cases students often refuse to go back, because they are simply too scared of what people may say. I think that was the main problem I encountered.
What kept me going is be my hunger for success. Even though I messed up I have always believed in second chances. Not even that pregnancy would stop me from obtaining my degree. I believed in myself, even when some people gave up on me. My biggest motivation was the strong support from my friends.
Back then I never thought I would even come closer to holding a degree in my hand. It was not merely a walk in the park; the joy I experienced knowing that I had to go through a lot to obtain this paper. As I walked onto that stage I told myself: “I did it and this will not stop me from going the extra mile”.
In life it is all right to fall, but giving up would have been the biggest mistake I would ever have made. I’m proud to say that my situation made me stronger and today I am a proud mother and a fruitful graduate.
Genevieve Sorica Barry is a 23-year old woman who feels the need to share her story to encourage youngsters not to give up on their dreams because of the difficult situations they may find themselves in.