EENHANA – The question whether spouses should show each other their pay slips has generated debate among revelers here.
Phillip Namundjebo, a teacher at the Mwadikange Senior Secondary School says his payslip and earning are personal and cannot be disclosed to her spouse. And John Iyambo, also a teacher, says men who disclose their pay slips to their wives are under “petticoat government” while others say their pay slips are open to their wives. But an Officer in the Ministry of Home Affairs says pay slips should be open to both as long as they are married. “This is good for the future planning and this also encourages us on how we use our monies as a united family. As long as we are not cohabitating, definitely my wife should have access to this information,” he emphasises.
Young entrepreneur, Rachel Nafidi, says her husband or boyfriend does not need to see her pay slip. “I do my share and I help provide for the house by buying groceries and so on. Sometimes, I show him money and that is enough. He does not have to see my payslip,” she says. Nafidi adds that her salary is the fruit of her personal hard work, which is why she will not reveal her pay slip. “It is not his money and it is not his job, it is my job. Why should he be interested in my money “bakwetu”? But well, if he ever demands for it, maybe I will show him,” she further says. But if she would like to see her husband’s pay slip if he was the one in formal employment, she replies: “If roles changed, I would ask to see his pay slip. Actually, I would have to see it so that I can manage the house and compare money spent and money earned. Well, it would be a guide for me to know my limit.” Nafidi adds that every husband has to make his pay slip and earnings available because even the Bible identifies men as providers.
John Iyambo says only a man under “petticoat government” would be so naive to reveal his pay slip. “I do not need to show her my pay slip. I do not ask her about hers. What is important is that I am making available the household needs. That is what we refer to as petticoat government. Next, she will even begin to question a missing N$ 50,” he says. Iyambo adds that women are very irrational accountants and for them, if any money is unaccounted for or not spent by them, then “it went to a girlfriend”. “If she sees my pay slip now, even when I want to go for a drink with fellas, I will have to beg ‘ndahala N $ 100 – give me N $ 100 please’. And let’s say I spend an extra N$100 on airtime or other miscellaneous expenditures, you will see her uproar. So, for this reason, I just do not show her my pay slip,” he says. Iyambo questions why he should reveal his pay slip to his wife when he does not ask for hers. “It’s funny how some other women pester us about our money. My wife has never shown me her pay ship. I have no idea how much she makes. When she gets paid, she spends her money on whatever she deems [necessary]. My payslip is private and should not be shown to anyone,” he says. He has been married for 15 years now and says he has never shown his wife his pay slip and will never do so.
But Politoh Kambinda, a government official and a father of one, relates how the issue of pay slips has destroyed marriages because most men are unwilling to reveal their earnings to their wives. “My pay slip is an open book. My wife and kids needs to know exactly how much I am making as this will help us plan. Transparency in finances in the house will lessen unnecessary demands from my wife,” he says. Kambinda adds that men who hide their pay slips from their wives are often unfaithful. “Those who normally hide their pay slips, you will find the ones who buy cars and houses for their girlfriends at the expense of their family. That is what lack of transparency can do,” he says
“The payslip is an open book. Why should you hide it? Your family should know how much you earn. As you go for work, they know you are going to earn a living and they should support you. Why hide a pay slip? What are you hiding or embarrassed of?” he wonders. He says transparency between spouses should start from as early as the contract agreement. “Starting from your contract of employment, you table it with your family, what you will be entitled to and what the benefits will be and how much you will be getting. When the pay slip starts coming, she ought to see it. If you are going to borrow money from the bank, you need to agree as a family. On a pay slip, she will even be able to see the deductions and see which monies are available,” says Kambinda.
Meanwhile, a Counsellor at Eenhana District Hospital, Nambelela Ndakondja, says high income earners are the ones mostly in the habit of not revealing their payslips to spouses, and diverting their money to other ventures which their spouses would object to. “The trend usually is with those who earn a lot. They may not want the spouse to know because they want to probably spend part of it elsewhere. But you will find for those who are mostly lowly-paid, they are transparent,” she says
Ndakondja adds that spouses should never keep their pay slips secret as the practice could cause tension in homes. “With a spouse, there should be no secrets. The spouse is supposed to know everything. They are supposed to know what the other person is getting. This actually eases tension in the home,” Ndakondja says adding that keeping a payslip private could lead to demands and expectations beyond the actual income of one’s spouse.
By Clemence Tashaya