By Hilma Ndapandula Himotha
Many people are afraid of being alone even just for a minute or two but there are just paths in life that one need to take alone to be able to find answers to questions that life poses, and find some clarity, peace and serenity for one’s own sanity.
Some women end up involving themselves in relationships they are not really excited about but just for the mere reason that they do not want to be alone. Some jumps from one relationship into another in quest for love hoping to get better companionship. Although people may not always understand the whole concept of single life; sometimes one need to live with her thoughts and spend time with self to gain a better understanding of who you really are, and what you want in life. Taking a walk alone at times just to have some ‘your moments’ with your thoughts is one opportunity to listen to one’s own thoughts because sometimes the world is too noisy that you cannot even hear the sound of your thoughts.
Sylvia Ipinge is a young, vibrant woman who takes pride in her single life. She says single life gives her freedom to do what she think is right for herself, and make her own choices. “For quite some time now I have been dating my own self; well, to put things straight I have been single and it is by my own choice. Although one would feel lonely at times, being single allows you to focus on more important aspects of your life,” she says. While some engage in relationships just to fill the lacuna of companionship, others seek relationship to gain some sense of belonging and to validate their existence. To this notion Sylvia says, “Happiness comes from within whether you are single or not, as long as you have the confidence to celebrate and embrace it. You could say I am just a lonely spinster, but these past months have been the best I could ever ask for. Well, I must say seeking love is not an easy quest but sometimes it is always best to take the journey on your own. When you are single you make conscious choices to revel the benefit of being on your own.”
Sylvia encourages fellow Namibian women not to try to compare themselves to others. “People get in relationships for variety of reasons, and you should have your own. One should not get into a relationship just for the status or because your friends and colleagues are all in relationships. Be mindful that comparing yourself to your friends can only set stage for more disappointments.”
She further states that ladies should be proud of their relationship status, irrespective of whether they are single or not. Sylvia also believes that being single does not make you less of a woman; but rather shows that you are woman enough to stand your own ground and make informed decisions.
When you spend some quality times on your own, you come out rejuvenated, restored and regenerated, with clear mind to make better decisions for future relationships.