Friendships fulfils the need for belonging, which is one of the most vital needs in life.
American psychologist Abraham Maslow listed the need to belong as the third most important after physiological and safety needs. Your interpersonal relationships influence your life, which can be positive or negative. It is then important to build meaningful friendships that influence your life positively. Our friends serve a complex of uplifting, empowering, entertaining and supporting us. Making the right friends can be challenging, especially in our youthful years because we are still trying to figure ourselves out in many aspects. People sometimes then find themselves in non-progressive and toxic friendship.
There are times when you are hanging around the wrong crowd, and you know it. These are called toxic friends and slowly but surely they influence your life negatively. If your friends make you do things that you do not want to do, they are toxic to your life. They encourage you for example to wear clothes you do not feel comfortable in, encourage you to steal and bully others, etc. Toxic friends will discourage you from working hard and chasing your dreams. Instead of motivating you, they point out your mistakes and make you feel insecure. They make you feel unworthy of your achievements and you will start keeping good news away from them because they make you feel bad about achieving. Toxic friends are never available when you need their support but when you are not available for them, they make you feel guilty. They do not respect your choices and make fun of you. Eventually you will start feeling lonely and looking down on yourself. If you know that your friends are not good for you, chances are high that you want to end the friendship. Go ahead and do it! Just like romantic relationships, platonic relationships do end sometimes too. Friends grow apart and adopt new lifestyles. People might take different religions, career paths and eventually end up having different values. It is okay to moving on if a friendship is not working out before you end up hating each other.
It is important to be in a friendship in which you are happy and comfortable with each other. To build meaningful friendships, one needs to be true to themselves. Stick to your morals, values, set boundaries for yourself and only do what you are comfortable with. Eventually, you will attract people with the same morals and values. If you love gospel music, be honest about it so you do not end up with friends who make you listen to reggae. You will constantly get annoyed by the activities your friends do if you are pretending to fit in. Show you true personality, there are people who will like it and befriend you.
Apart from having friends, it is also important to be a friend. Be a respectful, loyal and a helpful friend. Being a friend give you a sense of responsibility, purpose and fulfilment. When you know you belong to a certain social group by choice, it gives you a sense of worth and boost your self-esteem. As a friend, you should respect your friends’ choices, advice them to do the right things, uplift and inspire them. As one wise man said, ” To have a friend, or to be a friend is what makes life worthwhile. Always remember, when it comes to friends, it is quality over quantity”.