John Ekongo Date: Somewhere in the invented fairy anecdote time of this country. Venue: The parliamentary chambers, situated on the lovely hills of the Capital Windhoek. Event: The title bout, for the undisputed Namibian Championship Heavyweight Education match between “Bantu Education” nicknamed “Crime against Humanity” versus Cambridge Education, nicknamed the Self-Imposing Beast System Ringside Commentators: Harry “The Terrible” Simon, MP Norah Schimming-Chase and MP Katuutire Kaura. Match referee: McHenry Venaani. Independent match adjudicators: Andrew Matjila, Tjama Tjivikua, David Namwandi and authenticator Joseph Diescho. Ladies and Gentlemen, this highly explosive match is brought to you courtesy of ETSIP, right here in the capital, with live television outcast by the good people at the Boxing Federation, the now defunct (or sleepy) student movement Nanso, the Pro-Active Teachers Union of Namibia and the reactive Nantu and the very confusing support from the Council of Churches in Namibia. Nonetheless these two fellows will bout for the ultimate title, which is the best system. It will be an entertaining match, right here which is expected to determine the winner until Vision 2030. I am Harry Simon your ringside commentator, alongside MP Norah Schimming-Chase and MP Katuutire Kaura. Boxing match bout to start Now boxers shake hands, and we are away here at ringside with Bantu hitting a few low-key punches, excellent block by Cambridge. A bit of background here. Bantu, all the way from the Verwoerd era, very parrot-like characters, he always takes in what is learned without questioning. Cambridge, more liberal boxer, but very significant fellow could do better, but has always underachieved. Oh, what a nice uppercut blow to the gut by Cambridge, but wait Bantu is not lying idle, hits few General Science text book like punches. Whoever said Cambridge was self-imposing was right, don’t you agree? He does not think much of the consequence, as long as he just dishes out numbers one after the other without blocking and thinking of the future. Very true Harry, some statistics here. Over the years the fights that Cambridge has thrown close to 500 000 punches, with only a handful 12 000 landing successfully. That’s a shame – for 17 years as a professional fighter. True the similarities are the same here, guys. Bantu has released small punches over the last few years. He was active, especially during the 60s to the early 90s with close to 800 000 but all just fed with no sense of knowledge. An old crooner not willing to die …! Another hard blow to the foundation of Cambridge, but wait at least Cambridge replies with damning right to the jaw of Bantu. I tell you guys match referee McHenry Venaani is having a great time trying to separate these guys from each other. What an absolute starter we are having here in the parliamentary chambers, it kind of reminds you of some sort of ongoing debate by politicians. We are in the final round of this ultimate bout, who becomes the best education heavyweight in Namibia? The final round at this point the independent adjudicators have judged quite equally in all rounds, this might just be the final and decisive round to separate the two. By the way, why is Bantu called Crime against Humanity anyway? Harry, someone apparently thought the guy was a Baboon; they could understand the rest I don’t know. The same can be asked about Cambridge, what do you think, Norah? Well, I can only say that it is imposing because look how far Cambridge is and we are here in Namibia. Kaura, I see you giggling, what is so funny? Well anyone who ever said that Cambridge was imposing was right, because the fighter trains here in Namibia, but goes to UK for evaluation for the conditions that he worked for here. Now tell me exactly which criteria is being used to evaluate him and by whom, who knows our training programmes so well? Well that’s it, the end of the bout, and the independent judges are about to tally the scores. All judges Matjila, Tjivikua and Namwandi scored the match equal, yet again the title goes ungrabbed. No best educator in the country. Well there you have it, winner, just the same old boxers. A disappointing draw to an otherwise good challenge, maybe we see hopefully that Etsip will bring us another livewire match soon one of these days. From us here at the ringside, please have a good weekend, and a nice sorryngo.