EENHANA – She struts across the office complex in her high heels and tight pants suit showing off her well-toned curvaceous body. As she passes by, she not only leaves behind her lingering smell of exotic perfume but also an air of confidence and power.
She is not just anybody. She is an attractive woman who is comfortable in her skin. She looks like she gets everything she wants in life and is never willing to compromise on quality. Not surprisingly, many women would do anything to get into her knickers because she comes across as someone who knows what she wants, and can be demon in the sack that leaves her lover pulsating on the verge of unconsciousness with sexual pleasure. Does a woman’s power in the workplace translate to finesse in the bedroom, and why do many men fall head over heels over themselves for the powerful one who commands attention and can lead a pack of wolves, in this case, employees?
According to a clinical sexologist in Ongwediva, Ella Pedro, men generally like to be in touch during lovemaking because they use such as a chance to shine and show their power. “But although many men may want a woman who shows initiative, seeing her dominating and playing the lead role can put them off during sex,” she says. For both partners to find pleasure and be satisfaction in bed they should try and find balance despite the challenges of gender role and sexual norms, Pedro adivises.
Dasius Kamati (38) a technician here describes himself as “a dog that has been around the block”. To him, women who hold high positions at work tend to be sexually appeasing. “When a woman is confident and influential, you begin to wonder what else she can do,” he says with a twinkle. He recounts a past affair he had with an unmarried woman in her 40s. “She was my work supervisor. I was surprised when she one day invited me for a drink. We got acquitanted and one thing led to another. The sex was great and she was clean and experienced. She called me “stallion” as apparently I had lots of energy. But after sex she would jump out of bed and soon she would be sitting with her laptop. I wondered if I bored her. I wanted a woman who would ask a cuddle. She was cold. In retrospect, we discussed work a lot. The actual sexual act was great but the surrounding mood was usually too serious and somber,” explains Kamati.
His experiences are slightly different from Petrus Haingura’s, a 28 – year old Bank Teller from Oshikango who prefers older successful women in his bed. “They know what they want and aren’t soppy but often realistic and mature. I hate the mind games that younger women play. It’s refreshing to meet a woman who knows what she wants to communicate it. At this point I am looking for a serious relationship, so the so-called successful women do it for me. We may have pressing career demands but that doesn’t mean that the nights do not get lonely. I have a friend with benefits and we are ok with the situation. She drives so there is no need for me to be going up and down. I visit or she comes over, we pop a bottle, eat something and then we are set. No hassle or dram. I am enjoying it while it last and hey boy. It is great!”
However, both men agree that with so-called powerful women, there is always that chance of a man’s self esteem crashing when she seems to know more than he does. As Kamati explains, “I once dated a lady in her mid 30s who was a high flier of note. I heard she kept several lovers but went for the kill anyways. Being with her was satisfying. I couldn’t resist her. However, I often doubted myself and wondered if l was good enough for her. My ego would be shaken especially when she told me firmly what I should do or did something new. I just thought, gosh, where did she learn that? To add salt to injury, I was aware that she has a bigger pay cheque, her own house and well, she drove a better car in the North. Over time myself-esteem was threatened. I disappeared from her life. She never bothered to call me either. Soon thereafter I saw her with another young man hanging from her arms. It confirmed my fears and suspicions,” he explains
As tough as men act sometimes, their ego can be delicate. “We may want that initiative for the experience but submissiveness is attractive long term because sex can be a tool to fall back on when there is no other outlet for expression of power,” Kamati winds up.
ENDS
By Clemence Tashaya