EENHANA – By virtue of being raised that way, when it comes to courtship, most women wait for a man to approach them when it comes to love affairs.
Every day we hear the same old pick up lines that go something like this “ Eish! Baby you look so gorgeous and exuberating”, “I really love you”, “ I will buy you a train and an aeroplane”, and “When l try to chop some firewood, all l think about is you.” In the midst of false rape con artists, do men feel comfortable when a woman initiates a relationship? This is a piece of alternative wisdom. Nowadays, a new breed of women in Namibia, especially here in the North is cutting teeth in the game of choosing the man they want. It is merely justified as a first move.
Lately, some Namibian women have decided to choose their own cup of tea. They approach men on the basis that they would have no one else to blame but themselves if the cup of tea all of a sudden goes cold. “Even though I have a queue of admirers chasing after me, I never give them a second glance,” says one acquaintance, who preferrs not to be named. “I just look at them starting from the shoes upwards.”
Women today are far more assertive. It’s either because a woman knows exactly what she wants when she is more mature, or that it’s a gut feeling that they have had for a while to wait for things to happen. This is one thing that has bestirred the minds of most vulnerable men in to concluding that “a chaser is some kind of a slut.”
Most of men interviewed by Time Out here in Eenhana agreed that usually a woman’s approach is far more subtle than a male’s, of course depending on the woman. Men also agree that when it comes to older women, it usually means a far more aggressive approach. When women do the chasing, sometimes encounters become genuine, reciprocal relationships.
“My previous long-term relationship started a while back at a house party where I approached one shy guy. The fact that I was wearing a revealing top made it easier for him to hear what I had to say. He had also been dying to talk to me. Although he was also attracted to me, l couldn’t help but wonder if this was the sort of thing he was used to doing all the time,” says 26 year old School Secretary, Amutse Shikongo. She addds that she established a very close relationship with the man, after which she discovered that he was not at all what she had assumed. She further says when the ball was left more or less in her court, she ultimately resumed where she left off.
So there you are ladies, gone are the days when women had to wait like a flock of broilers to get plucked at the slaughterhouse like they parade themselves along the Kalahari Sands Hotel and Casino in Independence Ave in Windhoek. Yes, women have the right to take a plunge and choose the man of their desire as this is freedom of choice and association as enshrined in the Namibian Constitution. Happy hunting ladies in the North!
By Clemence Tashaya