John Ekongo My apologies for not being satirical today, however I believed that by far time has come indeed to outlandishly critique the apparent beef and hatred of brotherhood in Namibia’s infant music industry. Why do I say so? You can call me whatever you want but I think the fight in the music industry or silence thereof has gone on long enough that even nine and ten-year olds are slapping each other. Some fights are natural, inherent and understandable. For example, you do not want to pick a fight with the Special Field Force if they are nowhere near their payday. And you certainly would not go sing the Swapo Party anthem baritone voice at a “rugby match” in Outjo. Or otherwise face the consequences. Unfortunately with “The Dogg-Gazza and now Jericho and who else next fight, time is ripe now for intervention. Over the years, I have tried to ignore it, but if events of last week are anything to go by, what happened last week, well? Someone was slapped right in front of my face, reason being that he supports Mshasho, now that is silly. Don’t get close to Mshasho fans, if you think that the Dogg was once an understudy to Gazza, or the other way around. You can also add Jericho in the mix now as well. You might just get shot. My pain is only that the parties should stop making use of the media/or their silence while the public continue to maul at each with each and every conceivable piece of weaponry in honour and protection of his/her favourite musician. Call a press conference, say the story as is and continue as is. Better still, sit at the same fire, listen to each other or exchange a few blows far behind from the public’s eye, just so that we have something to talk about tomorrow will also be good. But then again, there is a saying, “In every weakness there is a gold mine, waiting to be explored.” My reasons for writing this column are hereby known. You really did not expect me to tongue-lash you all the way, even though I am still fumigated Colleagues, if you have a difficult time getting together, I have the right plan at my disposal. You can approach my consultancy, Difficult Unsolved Matters Brilliant-Solutions (DUMB-Solutions). Our experts include the various callers on National Phone-in Talk Shows (every one with his own expertise in conflict resolutions), President George Bush (Chairman), Tony Blair, Ali-G know as Borat the Kazakhi, Harry-the-Terminator-gone-the-Terrible Simon, some savvy journalist from the Infomante and a local member of the Chinese mafia specializing in fake anythings. Our panel of experts is defiantly tested in the industry of making influential decisions Our portfolio has guaranteed success all over. We have done work for the Sheeben association – one strategy included to have a braai at Parliament Building; it got the public’s attention. Also in our client base is the Namibian Football Association, – we advised them to paintbrush and rename positions with the same faces and recently we advised an official to fire himself and say he was fired peacefully – very good strategies. If you’re in doubt our best up-to-date project was the difference in opinion between the Trade Union and Madame Veronica De Klerk, after our intervention. I must admit it surpassed our greatest expectations and now peace has returned. So the only contract we have to tender for now is the growing “beef” (that is slang for hatred) in the local music industry. I am hopeful and positive that we will work out a workable strategy specific to your needs. We can assure you of a best result, after that maybe the Oldhaver & List Group, now that will be worth millions. So you have no reason whatsoever, to fight with your nemesis, come to us. As our motto is, “Stop fighting and solve it with DUMB-Solutions”. Honestly No sorry ngoo today.