By Clemence Tashaya
EENHANA – Although condoms like Smile are readily available in the country, they do not seem to be a preferred contraceptive choice among married couples. And in a world where health and social marketing agencies such as the National Social Marketing Agency (Nasoma) are operating with zeal, the widely tagged “smart choice” begins to look like any accessory of sort. They are the primary method of contraceptive.
Unfortunately, it is never all glamour for condom as a contraceptive, especially among married persons. In marriage and family planning, condoms tend to shift from a necessity to a necessary burden. This is because, among married couples, sex does not always run according to the script, many times it just happens. Married people seldom use condoms to guard against Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and HIV infection, unless it is a case of discordance. For contraceptives in marital bedrooms, the condom tends to take a backseat to other forms such as pills, Intrauterine Devices (IUDs), Injectaplan, among others.
Maria Shikongo, a mother to four, says for long, family planning was a just a myth in their marriage. “We are not well-off financially as I am just a housewife and my husband has a bug house in Ongwediva. We have always wanted to give our children the best but it’s impossible considering our income. So we thought family planning was the best option for us,” she says.
She adds that her husband totally fell out with condoms, saying they don’t give sex its natural feel and so they opted for birth control pills. After using them for months, and they seemed to work, they saw it as the best option until they were suddenly shocked when she got pregnant with their third born. Shikongo was later told that it’s because she didn’t follow the dosage, and then the pharmacy where she bought them offered her some other pills that continuously gave her headaches and a loss of appetite.
“I really don’t know which of these works because my husband doesn’t want to use condoms but I fear to use these other pills because I am not sure of their side effects,” Shikongo says.
Dr Nhamoinesu Gambara, a private medical practitioner in Ongwediva, says side effects of prescribed birth control pills is minimal and rarely happens but usually people detest them because they are supposed to be taken daily. “These pills are supposed to be taken daily and when someone gets a headache for some other reason, and then it is blamed on the pills but they don’t really have effect on women’s health as many people think,” he says.
Dr Gambara adds that pills are not supposed to be just bought without advice from a doctor because it is better when one’s doctor tells them what pills to buy, and how to properly take them, including the time intervals for the dosage. “The main reason why people say they don’t work is because of the poor usage or skipping a dose by mistake or poor in take that causes the pills to be less effective. When you miss a dose, go to your doctor for advice on how to get back on track with your family planning strategy,” he advises.
“No condoms with my wife” is the resolve and attitude of John Nakazilo, a father of five. “The whole meaning of sex is distorted when you use condoms, the intimate bit of sex is lost and I really don’t feel like it’s needed,” he emphasises. Nakazilo and his wife are doing family planning but condoms are out of the question as, in their perception, the latex gadgets seem not to be the convenient birth control method. “Sex isn’t always planned to happen, sometimes it just happens and reaching out to the drawer to get a condom isn’t an option for any normal human. Considering the fact that it’s going to make the activity less interesting,” he says.
He also adds having noticed a loss of interest in sex by his wife when they started using condoms though it’s no doubt that condoms are safe and an easy means of birth control. Whereas some people have opted for certain means of birth control, others don’t want to hear of birth control and contraceptives at all. In 1968, Pope Paul VI issued his landmark encyclical letter “Humanae Vitae (Latin, “Human Life”), which re-emphasised the church’s constant teaching that it is always intrinsically wrong to use contraception to prevent new human beings from coming into existence.
As many Catholics believe in this, so does Theresa Kasika, a staunch Catholic member from Zambezi region. “I was a fan of contraceptives until I got more depth in understanding my religion and my role as a Christian. Slowly, I started to feel the sincerity that we were meant to bear children, but then God completely wrecked me when I read on my own package of birth control pills and saw that it had three ways of keeping me from getting pregnant,” she says.
“We are meant to feel the world as God tells us in Genesis 1: 28 – And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over birds of the heaven and over every living thing that moves on the earth,’ Kasika quotes the Bible. In March 2009, Bishop Manuel Clemente of Porto, Portugal, responding to Pope Benedict’s statement condemning the use of condoms to prevent the transmission of HIV and AIDS, cited the pope’s remarks, saying condoms are “not only recommended, they can be ethically obligatory”. He said “the great solution to the HIV and AIDS problem, like any other problem, has to be behavioural,” but those living with the deadly HIV and AIDS “have a moral obligation to prevent and not provoke the illness”. Bishop Clemente argued that Pope’s advisors “should be more learned.”