In the words of my favourite female literary writer Buchi Emecheta, I too like to tell people who ask me about my stance on feminism that I am a feminist with a small f. 

Reading ‘In the Ditch’ (1979) is a great start to understand her work.

The debate on whether I am a feminist is often at the tip of people’s tongues for various reasons, the first one being the fact that I write on women’s issues. 

Most people who approach me always ask why I do not write about men in my articles, or why I am always writing about the sufferings of women. Being a feminist with a small f lies on the basis that, yes, I will always fight for women through celebrating their achievements in life, especially those that aim to dismantle African traditions that oppress women and children, but also men. 

This involves a part of me that would not entirely reject men, but would dig into the determinism of traditions and social conditioning that make aspects like chauvinism an imposed characteristic of manhood. 

As a feminist, I do not only focus on women-related issues, but also on issues that critically examine how deeply- ingrained cultural norms are, the societal expectations that cause certain historical practices that shape and reinforce the belief that certain behaviours, such as chauvinism, are inherent or natural to being a man. 

To make it easier to understand, using the aspect of chauvinism, people argue that it is a social construct deeply rooted in traditional determiners passed on through generations, where men must conform to certain things because that is how it has been. These determiners are often rooted in a place that perpetuates patriarchy and/or certain things that are harmful to both women and men. For example, men being told not to cry is rooted in manhood. 

If a man cries, then his manhood is questioned because what kind of man shows emotions and still wants to be called a man? How will women perceive him? Simultaneously, a woman would deem this person unworthy because of the connotation attached to a crying man. All these things happen because of social conditioning, where individuals are taught in their family upbringing, carrying forth that perception and amplified by either social media or education and interactions.

By being a feminist who digs into these traits, societal conditioning and traditional norms, I have the opportunity to have broader discussions, and challenge and change the imposed traits that are harmful to both men and women. While fighting for women, it is also an essential part of me to make sure that men know why the traits they deem normal because that is how they found things done is not necessarily inherent, but rather something that society imposes on men through the processes of tradition and social conditioning.

*Frieda Mukufa’s lifestyle section concentrates on women-related issues and parenting bi-weekly in the New Era newspaper. She also specialises in editing research proposals, proofreading as well as content-creation. – etuholefrieda@gmail.com