A few days ago, I had a heated argument with a taxi driver. It wasn’t physical, but it was intense, and we reached no conclusion. I want to discuss it here, and air my views on why I believe I was right.
We had just dropped off a lady living in the corporate world. Whatever she did was irrelevant to our conversation, as neither the cab driver nor I bothered to ask her.
As she exited the cab, the driver made a remark suggesting she must have done something questionable to secure her job at that specific company, clearly implying it wasn’t due to her hard work. This sparked our argument.
He said: “Women mos always sleep with men. All of them who have great jobs have slept with their bosses to be in those positions”.
This type of conversation unfairly portrays women as opportunists who sleep their way to the top. It insinuates that men often withhold opportunities from women, unless sex is involved. Consequently, many women dedicate their best years to a company, but never get promoted because they refuse to sleep with their bosses. In this scenario, men abuse their power, demanding sex in exchange for opportunities, thus overriding competence when sex is not on the table.
This perpetuates an undertone that implies women are incapable of succeeding on their own.
Reflecting on the cab driver’s comment, it is clear that despite their hard work and success, women’s achievements are often downplayed because success is frequently associated with maleness.
Such attitudes create a corrupt system run by men who misuse their power, forcing women into impossible situations.
When men hold opportunities hostage and demand sex as ransom from qualified women, they are the ones corrupting the system. Genuine talent and hard work are overshadowed by their twisted demands, making it apparent that competence alone isn’t sufficient, unless one is willing to play the game. It’s a brutal reality.
Women aren’t out here trying to leverage sex; they are being cornered by men who misuse their authority.
This entire situation reeks of a power imbalance, where men dictate the rules and exploit women’s ambitions and dreams. The issue isn’t women’s integrity, but men’s misuse of power, and how deeply rooted this behaviour is in our workplaces and societies.
We need to stop blaming women for navigating a system rigged against them, and start addressing the real problem: the men who perpetuate this toxic cycle.
In Namibia, as in many other parts of the world, this problem is pervasive. Women are often subjected to the same prejudices and abuses of power. Despite the strides towards gender equality, these toxic mindsets persist, holding back capable and hardworking women. It is essential to challenge these views, and support the empowerment of women in all sectors.
We must call out these injustices whenever we encounter them, just as I did with the cab driver. It is crucial to have these conversations, to shed light on the real issues, and to foster a culture where women can succeed, based on their merit and hard work. By addressing the misuse of power and advocating fair treatment, we can work towards a more equitable and just society.
Let us stand together in condemning these toxic behaviours, and support the empowerment and advancement of women. Only by doing so can we hope to create a future where everyone has an equal opportunity to succeed, free from exploitation and prejudice.
*Frieda Mukufa’s lifestyle section concentrates on women-related issues and parenting bi-weekly in the New Era newspaper. She also specialises in editing research proposals, proofreading as well as content creation.
– etuholefrieda@gmail.com