Being a strong independent woman does not equate to allowing yourself to wallow and drown in silence. Many of us have been taught to stand on our own two feet and weather out the storms, always keeping in mind that we are our own hero.
We spiral into a world where our innocence has been stripped away and we now heavily rely on our own strength to get by. The world has hurt us, bruised us and has convinced us that good people are hard to find. We have become accustomed to keeping people at arm’s length, because prevention is better than cure. We no longer believe in trusting anyone whole heartedly, as the less trust we hand out the better.
However, if the hurt you have endured shapes you into someone who is forever on the defence, good things will pass you by. Simply because anything good for you is warded off.
I recently made a new friend, and in the first few weeks, I was constantly on the fence about the friendship. I was afraid of letting someone into my haven and peaceful life, because I could never know whether this person comes with good intention or not. This was a result of people having come with promises and leaving me empty. This taught me a great deal in that time of a newly flourishing friendship that although I claim I have healed, I am still walking around with scars. Scars that are now starting to define my outlook on life.
I was becoming incredibly shielded, which was not supposed to be my approach. Life teaches us lessons; lessons we are to heed in our next encounter. These lessons are not to make us into bitter people; they are to make us into better people. How we take those lessons is completely up to us, but I would reckon that bitterness is not what we want to walk away with from unpleasant experiences.
I took a decision to deal with the areas of my life that hurt and started seeing this amazing woman who specialises in the human brain and deals with trauma. She encouraged me to do a 21-day challenge, which I want to challenge you to.
We all have areas in our lives we would rather not revisit, and sometimes those are the very areas that need our attention most. Those areas require healing in order for us to move forward. When you try this challenge, commit to it. I promise you the results are worth it. I am a living testimony.
21 Day Healing Challenge:
Day 1: Take an A4 sheet of paper. Fold it into half and write on each side ‘my old view’ and ‘my new view’.
Left side of the paper – my old view: write all the things that have hurt you and continue to hurt you. Write the things that give you anxiety, the things that leave you feeling sad and the things that make you feel alone. Write down your fears. You can make this list as long as you would like.
Right side of the paper – my new view (affirmations): for everything written on the left side of the paper, write the opposite of this. Let every negative thought be translated into a positive thought. You can write affirmations for every negative thought. For those who are Christian, be sure to add reaffirming scriptures to the negative thoughts.
Example: negative thought: I am afraid I will amount to nothing.
Positive thought: I am more than capable. I am a strong woman who is capable of greatness. I will overcome; I will win; I will succeed.
You will then tear the paper into half, read all the thoughts on the left side paper. You will then crumble the paper with the negative thoughts and throw it away. This is your release from the things that torment you.
For the next 7 days, you will read the thoughts on the right side of the paper (the positive thoughts) three times a day.
These will become your affirmations. You can read them at whichever time of the day you please. However, if by the end of the day you have not said the affirmations, read them three times before bed.
Do this for 7 days and come here next week and I will share the next step.
TIP: These negative thoughts will become more prevalent. For every time a negative thought appears, replace it with your affirmations.
EXTRA TIP: You control your thoughts; your thoughts do not control you. You have the power to decide what will occupy your mind and what will not.
With a tad bit of crazy,
Mavis
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