Magreth Nunuhe
WINDHOEK – As I was looking for some kind of inspiration to start the year, nothing could bumuna (impress) me more than the Baainaar prisoner who dug a hole through the prison walls yearning for the warm embrace of his lovie–dovie in a nearby female cell. The guy didn’t even care about escaping from the tjoekie, he only wanted to get to the one who makes his heart beat faster. Don’t get me wrong, I know the act itself was unlawful and wrong, but for a man to be so ‘aroused’ by love that he spends days and nights digging a hole with heaven knows what, will go down as one of the most heroic acts of 2013 – just like a story out of a romantic novel or movie.
The story gave me goose bumps, but that was until I saw the rat-hole through which the dude kama made it to the other side of his holding cell. Titse, at first I thought my eyes were deceiving me and I needed doctor’s gogols, because the picture in the newspaper was somewhat dark, but nee, there was that police officer proudly showing the peephole through which the inmate would kamastig visit his sweetheart at night. Vakwetu, not even my one-year old toddler’s little hands would fit through that kahole.
Even the Shawshank Redemption movie doesn’t take the cake to this story. In that movie, it took the prisoner some years to dig a big enough hole through which he would eventually escape, but all this Baainaar needed was just to squeeze himself through that rat-hole. I know some weird things have been happening since people started eating grass in the country of our most southern neighbours and I have also heard about people riding on sweet potatoes at night or vanishing through brick walls, but I refuse to believe in such tales until I see that with my own naked eyes. As if that was not enough mystery, here comes another story short, but one that you will not dare repeat at the Hero’s Acre. This one is about a female officer that just had to do the unthinkable at the uranium town after she and her former Best Male Friend became kwaai friends. She kama chased the poor guy down the street with the help of her brother who overpowered him, while she pulled down his pants to bite on his totties.
Etoo, I wonder what could have made the two chomas develop such love-hate relationship? I mean, isn’t it yucky to bite someone’s privates for stealing your television set or chicken in the fridge? Because if it was as easy as biting someone’s finger, we would all be teaching gcinas a lesson they would never forget by biting them down under there for snatching our bags and cell phones.
Since it’s not clear what led to this immense hatred between the two, we can only assume that perhaps she wanted to make her /gamis spiteful that if she can’t have ‘him’, then no one else can. I know some of you are noting this new fighting tactics with keen interest, but don’t get wrong ideas now.
I know there is a fine line between love and hate and sometimes you wanna do unimaginable things, but don’t expect to attract a bee with vinegar, assamblief. If it doesn’t work out, just move on, opuwo.
Sorry Ngo!