You know that moment when you are supposed to meet up with a friend. The plan was to meet up at 6 p.m. Yet, fifteen minutes later, you receive a text explaining that they are still getting dressed, which we all know means ‘just getting out the shower’. You pace in front of the café, fiddling on your phone and scrolling through Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. Sitting alone at a coffee shop table can feel very natural for many, yet for some, it feels like a way to make you feel all alone and has you fiddling to keep yourself busy because it is just so damn awkward.
Well, when we speak about self-love, there is an element of it which encourages dating yourself. Whether you are in a relationship, single, married or divorced, dating yourself is needed. It allows you to do the things you love, alone. It allows you to learn how to enjoy your own company and bask in solitude. Taking solitude out the comfort of your home and out to where you would want to have pretty dates, the thought is scary for many, but here are a few tips on things you can do alone to get on that self-love journey. I promise you after you get past the awkward firsts and fiddling your phone to keep busy, you will come to love your own company:
Take yourself on dates – The things you wish to do with someone, you can do alone and have the time of your life doing it. Go watch a movie alone, pack up on the popcorn and enjoy that movie. Go shopping for a cute top or dress, just because it will make you feel good. Enjoy it while you are at it. The little moments where you can enjoy being alone.
Buy yourself gifts – We all love to be spoiled. If anything, gifts have a way of brightening up one’s day. If you are a sucker for gifts, get them for yourself. We spend so much time waiting for people to treat us how we want to be treated that we forget that the first person who sets the pace is you! Go buy yourself a rose, treat yourself to a good breakfast and just love on yourself. You do not need an occasion. The occasion can be that today you woke up happy, so you deserve a gift. Small treats brighten up your day.
Dress up – When you look good, you feel good. Put on that nightdress that has been waiting to be worn on the right occasion. You create your occasions. Wear a fur coat to a casual night out; put on that trench coat to work – I mean look good! Looking good always leaves you feeling good. Throw the comfy t-shirts to the side and get out your comfort zone! Quit shopping for safe items and buy that over the top dress, why? Simply, because you can.
Laugh – Odd hey, you’d think you laugh all the time. However, when last did you laugh till your tummy hurt? live, love and laugh. Find joy in the little things. Start to look around you more often and appreciate the landscape. Put your phone down more often and pay attention to your friend speaking about her crush. Notice the beauty in your day and just laugh more. Be silly; let the child in you come out to play!
Choose you – Choose yourself. Get a little selfish sometimes. If something is not feeding you good vibes, cut it off! Be protective of your space. Be very particular about what energy you allow into your life!
One day, one happy thing – Do something that makes you happy every day! Every single day! It will force you to look within and find what truly makes you happy. When you run out of ideas, don’t stop, invent things that make you happy, until happiness becomes yours every day!
Take time out – Have lazy days, have days where you just do you – whatever that may be! Read that book you bought months ago, make that vision board you promised to make, redecorate your room or just sleep! Take time out to fill your cup! To re-energize yourself. Remember: You can’t give from an empty cup; you need to fill up yours first!
It’s almost like deciding to go to the gym, buying the cute outfit and going twice. Just like that, the gym never sees you again. The key ingredient is dedication. The first step is deciding, second is dedicating time to it and third is consistency. Those three ingredients promise you success. You can do it; you just need to start!
* By Mavis Braga Elias – Civil Engineer, speaker, philanthropist @mavisbraga