Okay, you have heard all you can about self-love. You have come to understand the foundation of the self-love journey and have read every article you can find about loving yourself. You have tried to drink hot water twice a day, you have had that crash diet and have tried every weight-loss tea on the market. You have even gone as far as finally deciding to start living a healthier and happier life. Until a few days in and you realize it is not that simple. Everyone around you seems to be getting it right, everyone seems to be taking life in their strides. Only, you tend to always feel like you have the world on your shoulders and can’t seem to curb your love for food because let’s face it, food is so DAMN GOOD! You can barely sum up enough energy to drag yourself to the gym.
The reality is that loving yourself and choosing a healthier life is incredibly hard. Even harder when your genes are that of a big-boned person and no clothing item you like seems to come in your size in the shop. As much as we want to paint the self-love journey as some blissful journey filled with the beauty of life and glitter, it simply is not. The best part is that as soon as you realize that it is going to be a tough journey, you will be better equipped to not quit.
The self-love journey is personal. It is you coming head-on with your true self and being able to decide you want better. This, without hating yourself and where you are, but seeing yourself as a work in progress. Opting to start and wanting better for yourself and your life. Teaching yourself what works for you and what does not.
FOOD ADDICT - If you love food and can’t seem to stick to a diet, as opposed to trying to kill yourself cutting out the food you think is delicious. Try finding fun healthy recipes you can try out. Healthy eating does not have to be carrots and broccoli, it can be quiche and spinach salad.
BODY ISSUES – If you can’t seem to look past the stretch marks and flabby skin, then spend time studying the clothes that work for your body. Don’t try to spend your energy fitting into clothes slim sized women wear. We all have different body types and you can find a sense of style that works for you. If you want to lose weight, enjoy the journey on your way there. You do not have to keep holding your closet up on the basis that you will shop when you are two sizes smaller.
SELF-HATE – If you are constantly feeling inadequate and comparing yourself to everyone around you, build a support system. Ensure your environment doesn’t enable your self-hate. If you feel like you just aren’t pretty, and your friends tell you that – cut them off. If you feel like you are not confident and your friends encourage that character trait – cut them off! I don’t mean distance yourself, I mean – CUT THEM
OFF! Life is far too short to make excuses for being in an environment that does not cultivate you. If your environment is not building you, change it. Everyone needs cheerleaders for friends, people that see your weaknesses and look to strengthen them and not enable them. Self-hate can also be internal, thoughts and negative feelings that drag you down. Do an internal analysis and understand where these thoughts stem from, then cut the root! Change your thinking and attitude, and you change your reality.
The idea is to find the things that hinder your progress. The only way you can achieve this is by spending time with yourself, to learn yourself. In understanding yourself, you will be able to detect the areas that need work, the areas that hinder your progress and the areas that you can highlight to help you grow in your self-love. There’s no quick fix, there’s only finding what works for you and applying it.
* By Mavis Braga Elias – Civil Engineer, speaker, philanthropist