By Oscar Lukas
WE all play a role in passion killings, just because it didn’t happen to you or in your family doesn’t mean you have nothing to do with it.
When the world makes Namibia an example not to be followed, they actually mean passion killings. This advice towards you readers serves to help us join hands together and to do something. This is not an answer to this inhumane problem and don’t use my advice to point fingers on who to blame, because those fingers will point back at you. We all know that our communities have been painted red over the past years with deaths and injuries involved in love relationships and domestic violence mostly towards women. The recent senseless killings of women leave us all with questions, the whole nation debating, taking sides, throwing opinions and pointing fingers, blaming each other while the issue continues with no solutions. Here is my advice and questions and you may respond via email or via Face-book, because what you think counts the most. Your answers and contributions will be very useful and highly appreciated for the awareness campaign I’m creating.
Our respected honourable ministers and honoured great elders, we have been witnessing, reading and attending funerals of our sisters and mothers made victims one after another in the land of our grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts died for us and you our elders who fought and suffered to free Namibia. Passion killings are now a common thing in our country because people are not afraid to commit it.
What would a person be afraid of, the law, jail? Prison where you get a good meal, sleep well, spend your years and come out as a free man to get a good job and continue living your life like nothing happened. The whole country has been talking, we are still talking and we will continue talking, because we talk so much, to a point we even forget we are talking. It’s about time we stop talking and start protecting our women with your help our elders. We always hear about new laws on taxis, new laws on shebeens, illegal shacks prohibited, laws on sex workers, that and this prohibited etc. Are these things so important than our grandmothers and children being raped, our sisters and mothers being killed each and every day, while we spend time tackling things that are far less important and can wait. Here are my ideas honourable ministers and our elders. Since we all have rights that protect us as Namibians, why can’t there be a new law that blacklists you and takes away your rights when you kill someone. You take someone’s life and the law takes away your rights and blacklists you countrywide, publish you all over the media for the public to be aware. And mayors will be given full rights to ban you from entering their towns, you picture will be at all the roadblocks for you to be living only in your hometown. Shops, banks, hospitals and all kinds of services in your hometown are not allowed to serve you with any service or products. If your family doesn’t want you anymore, than be homeless, live in the streets with no food, we have people who deserve much better but they are homeless with no food.
Do any crime when you are blacklisted and the public can take any violent action against you, the police won’t help a blacklisted person, because you have no rights to be protected and no ministry can assist you. Go in jail and eat once a week, you don’t have rights. This law can also be applied to someone who is violent, abusing or hitting another person. Get three (3) warnings and get blacklisted for two (2) years. Let’s take an example of a recent situation of the lady from Keetmanshoop, she broke up with a guy last year but this guy is still after her beating her with stones and fists, she laid several complaints with the police but nothing comes of it. The police told her they will hand her case to a social worker, seriously people are being killed and her case gets handed over to a social worker to do what exactly, talk to the guy who has proven his violent acts! Let the whole country know about this law, create awareness for people to know in every language of our nation and even a mad person would be afraid to kill someone. All the laws we are living on are man-made, we even disobey God’s laws more than man’s laws. These laws can be changed to make our country the safest country in the world, this is my idea.
Giving someone all your love through taking care of that person or making her happy by paying or buying her things is never an assurance that she will love you back. As men, let’s be honest for a while, no woman asks us to buy or pay for things when you haven’t given her signs to. You often express your feelings to a woman you don’t know by showing off, doing things you don’t usually do and sometimes you were not asked to do anything, but you offer what you have and that is a mistake we always repeat. That’s wrong and at the end when you are not wanted, you start claiming she used and betrayed you, don’t’ forget the truth, you used and betrayed yourself. Stop trying to own someone, you don’t even own your wife, you can’t force or pay someone to love you. The same way you love and care for that person who can’t love you or doesn’t love you anymore, is the same way you can care and love to move on and leave her alone. If you are not man enough to leave her with what you have bought, than send someone with a list of your items to avoid unwanted arguments. Only men should answer the following: What hurts so bad to a point of taking someone’s life? Is it because she doesn’t love you or is it because of the money you spend or is it because you cannot move on anymore or what exactly is so important that you can’t let her go? Is it so hard to know a woman first before you start spending your hard earned money?
I would like to ask women the following: When you say, I don’t want you and I have nothing to do with you, why don’t you proudly say it including his things. If you don’t want someone, than don’t be all over his things. A large percentage of women easily get tempted and temptation leads so many to blindness, so blind you fail to see the truth behind the person you let into your life. Young women, you often run to get great things fast, looking for Mr. Perfect who will give you these things because you can’t work for yourself. When will you stop running? Sometimes it’s hard to stop because you started a dream race unprepared and lost your way. Now every man that comes your way is Mr. Perfect, including sugar daddies, murderers, rapists, married man etc. Ask a desperate man for directions and he will direct you to his bedroom. Know where you come from and you will know who you are, because I know you are better than that. A good woman is not defined by material posessionss, she may be known by so many eyes but no mouth knows her name, she knows where to stand because her class is self-made. For you to be that woman you need to stop running and start knowing who you let into your life. A person can only be part of your life to uplift or destroy you, that’s why you should never go for looks, because it can deceive, don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Only women should answer the following: What exactly are you looking for, that is so big you can’t find it in one man? Are you looking for someone that can build something for you or with you? Why accept gifts or spend money and time with a guy if you have no intentions of being with him?
To Friends
Some of you don’t deserve to be labeled as a friend, a true friend won’t advice a friend to do something he/she would never want to do. I know so many people, thousands of them, but I only have ten (10) friends because I know who to classify as my friend. Learn how to test people, let them judge you by testing them, which will help you, separate friend from friendly. Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I am your friend. Any friendly person will mostly advise you that there are a lot of fish in the sea that you can always catch one, but only a friend will warn you, that among those fish there are ones that you will catch but you won’t be able to pull them out of the sea.
If things get complicated let go of the rod, because that fish you desperately want might end up pulling you into the sea, making you the victim. Anyone can answer the following: Will you advice your friend to act violently towards someone else? Why do you like being on top of your friend? You see your friend falling and let him/her fall, because you are jealous or don’t have what he/she has. Will you introduce a new guy/girl to your friend, because you think the one he/she have isn’t good enough?
To my fellow people
We all want great things, we all want what’s new (latest), but that doesn’t mean you should fall for every person who hands you these things. We do know it hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but do you also know it’s more painful to love someone who thinks and takes you for a fool. There are so many good men and women out there, but some people are seriously destroying them. Don’t turn out to be heartless, only a heartless person will use another person to get a better life and dump the person like he/she didn’t carry you the whole way till you get where you are today. You cannot blame anyone when you let a fool make a fool out of you. Know that when you have tied yourself up to someone else, you will drown with that person.