TODAY is my last day at New Era and it is with a sad heart that I say goodbye to my avid readers whom I have come to know and love through interactions, whether on Facebook, through emails or meeting face-to-face at some dodgy bar in da Tura where some ngupa gave me relentless compliments for my writing, only to find out as the night progressed that he was more interested in my zak to buy himself a bottle of Navara (Castello Ginger Fizz).
I am happy that for the past three years or more, I have been able to make you smile, laugh, angry or possibly cry, but I could still walk home without a broken lip or scratched neck, because you didn’t once skop me, give me a taai-klap or hit me with the Katutura dumpie for exposing our crazy and funny lifestyles in da place to be. Even the ladies at Starlile soccer games didn’t pay me any mind and still continue to wear their red tikkie-hakkies despite warning them that they should rather wear those meme takkies -Tomy’s – because the merciless ncinas could be waiting for them with hawk eyes on the outside.
But I am not completely lost to the industry; you will see my headlines somewhere else and maybe I might continue this Tura lingua. But that’s only if you ask nicely, like buying me a smily at Tjikaendu’s Den if you see me peeping through the windows with doggy eyes or not ignoring my existence when you see me standing next to you at a braaivleis and roosterbrood stand on Rand Street. That’s not outere, at least I am asking something in exchange for a service unlike some of you who refuse to clean someone’s yard for a tiger (N$10) but expect everything to be given to you on a silver platter.
But before I say my last goodbyes, I must say that I am very disappointed with what has been going on this week on social media. Sies tog, are we this juvenile to be excited about a video that went viral on cyberspace about two consenting adults who were having their private moments with each other? I am telling you, one would think a kindergarten crew has just invaded Facebook the way people were aanganing about the video like they didn’t have biology in school.
Some airhead boy found it worthwhile to spread such embarrassing details about their gekafoefel and some of you bought into the idea by not only downloading it, but also forwarding it to whoever has eyes to see. If you have fooled yourself in the past that you were no skinderbek, this is the time to accept that you are in fact nothing else but speak-manyoos. Prepare yourself for your time in the tjoekie because I understand that everyone from the original sender and those who are still sending the video can face jail time for crimen injuria and other more serious charges.
Have you ever thought about that young person whose life is traumatised now? What if it was your daughter, cousin or niece? To the young man who did this, shame on you! Why did you have a problem accepting the relationship is over? If it’s chaila time, it’s chaila time, opuuo, kapepo, shalipo kashipo we, toago, klaar!
Some of you never think that the future is its own karma and that the wheel has a way of turning. I am not saying you should pray every day for someone else’s downfall; all I am saying is that the future could have something better in store for you. So, don’t stay stuck in the past.
So, with that little advice I say goodbye, karee nawa, oshili nawa, /na i ge a, totsiens, auf wiedersehen.
Sorry Ngo!