Like the oppressed fighting for liberation, death permeates our waking dreams. Death selectively chooses women and children.
Death walks the streets boldly, casually, intentionally, waving at neighbours as an active responsible member of society, masking his thirst for blood. The undisclosed nature of death.
Our parasympathetic nervous systems are permanently switched on and we live in a state of flight or fight because we never know who is next. People living in fear in their own country should be a human rights violation.
But we forget too easily, especially when messages of condemnation are delivered by 15-vehicle motorcades, offering support in a single sentence statement in two-hour long speeches.
Condemnation, the bedrock of Namibia’s zero tolerance on GBV. Condemnation that fails to comfort the mother who has to bury her raped and mutilated five-year daughter, condemnation that cannot soothe the anger of a grandmother standing at the grave of her family’s only hope for a better future, condemnation unable to derail the tears of a sibling who has lost her only best friend. Condemnation, Namibia’s golden policy for a safer country.
But let me remind you, because they want us to forget. Because they never want us to say their names, Magdalena Stoffels was raped and murdered. Juanita Mabula, Melanie Janse and Sanna Helena Garoes were murdered, dismembered, frozen and dispersed all over the country.
Delin !Nawases was stabbed multiple times and her throat slit. Frieda Nambahu was bludgeoned to death with a machete. Selma Lilongeni Tangitate Ruben shot to death, Lena Williams stabbed to death, Frieda Amadhila stabbed to death.
Angelique Delia Maasdorp, Magdalena Nguhemo, Ndahepa Helga Ihemba were murdered. Helen Onesmus was stabbed to death with scissors. Emilia Ndilokelwa was hacked with a panga, Lizelda Xoagus stabbed to death, then burned with acid, Beyonce !Kharuxas, Ingrid Maasdorp, Rosvind Fabian were murdered.
Names with faces, identities, dreams and hopes killed. Faces haunting no one but their families, igniting no action other than condemnation, condemnation for murderers who killed more women than I would fit on any list.
Condemnation for grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, and fear, telling us to be calm, not to be too emotional, to be patient. How can one be calm when you have lost a daughter?
Where must one hide the emotions of loss when you have lost a child? Where do we place the anger when only 10 minutes separate the deaths of women? Questions to ponder, questions that remind us that empathy should root our responses and approach to femicide.
The Protector-Provider Fallacy
These heinous crimes are perpetrated by our fathers, sons, uncles, brothers. Interesting that
we are quick to congregate at men’s conferences when our brothers go astray but we forget that these events are aimed at reinforcing patriarchal values, “men should go back to who they were, they should be providers and protectors.”
However, the world keeps evolving, and in its current state the protector-provider narrative must be preached with caution.
Unemployment makes it hard for men to provide; poverty makes it difficult for men to protect. When men cannot live up to these expectations as their mental health is compromised causing feelings of isolation, helplessness, and low-self-esteem.
When the economic conditions do not correlate with the social expectations, men lose their identity and become frustrated.
This plunges them into substance abuse, violence, and criminality. Abandonment
and rejection mainly due to father absence either create or amplify maladaptive behaviours that lead to femicide.
What Now
It is no secret that we need to urgently address GBV cases, rape and femicide because of familial and social destruction that might be difficult to resolve. Psychosocial challenges pervade households and characterise the childhood of many children and their families. And while many discount the economic impact of GBV, evidence shows that GBV costs the global economy US$1.5 trillion as a result of reduced economic activity, increased healthcare costs and lost productivity.
Considering the economic and psychosocial consequences of GBV, it should be prudent for the government to be on the forefront of GBV mitigation.
Condemnations do not deter violence, while men’s conferences reinforce it. Our efforts should be focused on community hubs and culture-specific activities that share research-backed information that supports this new age that is slowly releasing its grip on the protector-provider fallacy.
*Alex Gomachab is a Student Psychologist, a Mental Health Advocate and the Founder of Wellness and Healing.