Moving to a different country was a totally big change for me. The only travelling I had ever did was from one town to another during school holidays or during school tours.
But here I was packing up and settling down on another continent, a new land, and a world totally different from what I’ve known all my life. It was scary but exciting at the same time. I had wanted to get away from home for a long time so this was a great opportunity for me. The scholarship came as a blessing I guess.
Although I wasn’t accepted for the course that I applied for I was content with what I was offered as a second choice of study. I had determination in my eyes, so much energy and so anxious to begin this new chapter of my life. I was ready, I told myself.
The first days were good, school was good, everything in my life was finally in order so it seemed.
Now, I’m not really one who tries to fit in with any crowd so in the beginning I was totally fine being on my own, in my own company, but that didn’t last long, I made friends with most of the people that I came with on the same scholarship, I got along with everyone, well as far as I know. It was not long before we got introduced to the social scene, I mean we were young after all, it was only a matter of time before this happened.
Now as I said earlier this was a totally different world, everything here was a hundred times better than it is back home. The nightlife was crazy and enchanting, the clubs so classy and well managed and as a girl all this came for free. I’m not really the clubbing type neither do I really consume alcohol. Before I came here the only time I went clubbing was on the night of my matric farewell and the only alcohol I took was cider so when my friends invited me out one night I was a bit hesitant but I went anyway. I had so much fun, we were apparently the new girls on the block so the men were drooling over us like hungry hyenas.
That night we didn’t even spend a dime, all was taken care of, by whom to this day I have no idea. Anyway I told myself this wasn’t going to be a regular thing, but the night life kind of pulls a person in you know so I went out more (it was all for free after all), all we had to do was dress up and make ourselves look pretty then the rest was taken care of. Aaah, the joys of being a girl, I thought to myself. It wasn’t long that I started taking hard liquor, now my body wasn’t used to strong alcohol so I would take one glass and I’m already tipsy. I always made sure my friends were staying sober before I started drinking though, better safe than sorry right. My first academic trimester ended, with hard partying and hard studying, I passed quite well. I was so proud. Holiday came and I went all out. Now by this time we had all mingled, made new friends both local and international ones, some of the girls already had boyfriends in fact some already had exes from the area. Things were moving fast.
This scared me, I don’t really like it when life moves too fast, I like it slow, I like to know I can keep up so I slowed down for a while, I stopped clubbing and just settled, you know, just so I get in touch with my inner self again.
Hahaha, this lasted only a few days, I just couldn’t keep away. All this nice treatment was too good man, the attention was enchanting plus the temptation was high.
You have people asking you to go out with them every day, and by people I mean guys, guys with money. Like I said earlier we were the “new chicks on the block,” we were hot news and every man wanted to be seen with us, every club manager wanted us at their clubs, we made people look good so we partied the night away hard, without ever spending anything.
What girl wouldn’t want that? Now don’t get me wrong we are no dirty kandeshis, we were just girls who wanted to have fun. It wasn’t long though that we slowly started learning the truth. Lucky for us we didn’t get to learn the truth first hand. People who have been here longer than us started warning us. So many girls have come to this country and went through the same pattern. Most of these girls were also once “hot news”, they were once trending, that is until of course they got so caught up in the life that most got taken advantage of by the very same men who splashed money on them and treated them like princesses. Most had to go back home either pregnant, sick, or some were simply used for drug trafficking or money laundering and they got deported.
Psst, and here I was thinking life was easy for a girl in this land. There are even rumours of rituals for money.
We were so caught up in the easy life that we didn’t stop to think as to why this people were spending their money on us, why they were being so nice to us or how they even make this money. Most of them don’t even work but are driving Mercs and own the latest gadgets and stuff like that. We were so naïve. Now, donBt get me wrong not every one of them is bad news, there are those humble ones with good intentions and living a legitimate life but those are very few.
We are lucky we opened our eyes before it was too late, not many girls had that courtesy. Of course we still do go out but we go at our own expense, we now know that just because a man desperately comes to you telling you how much he likes you and how crazy in love he is with you, doesn’t actually mean he is sincere, he’s probably saying the same things to five of your friends.
Life abroad is not for the faint-hearted. It is not as simple as we imagine, the pressure can be unbearable, and as a young person you have so many temptations thrown your way. You really need to know yourself, where you come from, and where you’ve set out to be. This is all one big life test I believe, and the only way you can pass is if you stay focused and constantly remind yourself of what you came here to do.
• A Namibian student studying in Malaysia wrote this letter and she wishes to remain anonymous.