Ouma straightened her numbed knees and sneezed through her blocked nose. Then she cleared slimy mucus from her throat. 

Immediately, her grandchild pierced her hard-of-hearing ears with pink-stone earrings. Ujama draped a bead necklace around Ouma’s neck and screeched the tyres out of the gate. 

Unfortunately, the tyres threw stones at the rattling windows. Within minutes, the one-door beetle reverse-parked at the clinic. Soon, a nurse popped out of the door, rolling a wheelchair towards the car. Granny smiled as the nurse’s shoes mirrored her pink scarf. 

First, the nurse placed her on snow-white beddings and combed her white hair with the palm of her sponge-soft hands. Later, the soft-spoken nurse pressed her wrists to check for any pulse. Afterwards, she placed a tubular glass on her chest but blinked because Granny’s chest purred like a cat. The nurse unzipped a packet of pills with a solid line cutting the pills into two half moons. 

“Are my days cut in halves?” Nana mimed, mumbling a prayer. Grandma’s eyes followed the nurse as the nurse filled the glass with water. In a twist, Granny, a retired nurse herself, became curious about the side effects of the yellow pills. The nurse giggled, and Ujama rubbed the sweat dripping from her armpits. 

“Ouma is a picky old lady,” Ujama said, massaging Granny’s wrinkled hands. The nurse pushed her glasses over her slippery nose with an index finger. 

“The capsules may make you dizzy, with skin peeling rashes,” she reads, as granny popped her eyes at her remarks. Ujama rolled her adoring eyes at the tucked-in uniform nurse. “You’re an angel,” she said. 

“Nonstop nose bleeding, sleeplessness, vomiting of blood,” stuttered the nurse, pushing her chest outward. This time, Nana shot out of the clinic’s bed like an unscrewed bolt. 

“The side effects are for pregnant women,” said the nurse, rubbing her tummy. “Are you pregnant?” Ujama asked the 88-year-old, and the prank tickled the nurse. Soon, Ujama received a skin peeling pinch from Ouma. 

By now, grandma grabbed the yellow card, and the nurse scribbled a Dictation Test. 

“Under diseases, old age,” Nana said, pitying the flu-infected pen, as it vomited red ink. 

“Under prescriptions: wild berries, boil aloe leaves, sip onions’ water, and busy with needlework. Grandma knocked the nurse’s elbows with a steel cane, and the nurse sipped her dripping sweat. For Hilma, her first night shift had turned into a flop. In addition, her nametag dropped to the floor as Ouma mumbled ear-bursting words in her direction, while limping for the exit. Finally, Ujama tucked Granny into bed and clicked the lamp. 

“As for my runny stool,” I’ll chew leaves of a black acacia tree,” said Granny, snorting like a bush pig. 

-Mungambue@gmail.com