Lucia Ndawapeka Shihepo
It’s not comparing that is a problem, it’s the decision that when comparing you always come out as less-than. What if I had her hair?…I wish I was as fit as her…What if I had her job?…What if I am wealthier than he is?…What if people adore me as they adore her? We have set up a condition which will never be grateful and satisfied, literally comparing us with others is like digging a trap to ourselves and it will lead us forever.
Why would you compare yourself to others? Jesus said, “Love your neighbour as you love yourself.” But the question is, do you know how to love yourself? Because if you learn to love yourself you will never compare yourself to others. To be happy, we need to be grateful and satisfied with what we have.
Comparisons are never-ending. If you get a good car like your neighbour, you will want to build a house like your colleague. You will never be satisfied if you compare yourself to someone else. It can feel like you are always competing against someone else in your field, but the reality is that there will always be someone who is better than you at something and there will also probably be someone worse than you.
What you see on social media may not be an accurate representation of your friends’ lives. When others post about their accomplishments and highlight reels, it’s important to remember that there is more to the story. What you see on social media is often a fraction of what someone’s life is actually like and other people don’t tend to post much about the struggles they are facing.
That is why it can be so easy to feel like your life does not measure up to what you see online, but it does! Your life has value and everything you do matters. Behind everyone’s success is some unknown hard work. Blindly comparing with others will not satisfy oneself but will fall into the confrontation between self-confidence and inferiority.
I am telling you that you are beautiful, you are awesome, and smart and don’t forget you are unique!
* Lucia Ndawapeka Shihepo is a teacher and a student at NUST.