Dear Saddam Hussein
The current never ending turmoil in the Middle East and Iraq in particular has compelled me to write this piece – banking my hope that it will reach you wherever you are. You totally have no idea that a person in me does exist under this blue sky. It’s not my intention either. For it might give you a free certificate to list me in your black book for the gas chambers should there be a slim chance of grabbing your throne back. Though count yourself lucky to have my vote of sympathy and the honour bestowing you what you have missed so much, Mr President. It’s worth noting the Iraqis voted 99% in your favour. It’s ironical that the person who ‘rigged’ his way to office on two occasions and whose middle names are ‘free and fair’ and ‘democracy’ respectively could not revere the wishes of your people who queued under the hot merciless sun of the desert to fill the ballot boxes for you so that you can take care of their lives and oil wells. So, believe me you Sir, that I do understand your anger pretty well. You have all the reasons in the World for your habitual courtroom outbursts. First, you were chased out of your throne by the Bushes who hardly rule for a single day without explosions insert, friendly fires. You fled your numerous palaces spread across the desert housing ‘bling bling’ that only exist in many a wildest dream Iraqis included. For your dear life, you resolved to share a hole with a rat rather than face Walker Junior a.k.a Texas Ranger’s lethal arsenals. I do sincerely share the same fear of death with you, Sir. I would have done the same if I were in your position. However, going to the extent of being a rat’s guest was a pity. For a Desert Warrior in you, your options were far and spacious. It must have been embarrassing leaving your hosts with shock and awe for the probability that one of their cousins was smoked when the attack was high. It must be very hard to come to terms with losing Uday and Qusay. Allow me, Sir, to convey my heartfelt condolence to the Hussein family. I know they were closest to your heart and you could do anything for them in your power, including making them first class humans. Now you know how it feels to lose a loved one considering men and women you made past tense in your toxic gas chambers. What has not dawned on you is that there should be some modesty in a courtroom. By now you should realize that you are human just like any other Kuwaiti. I bet given some powers, you could have split those judges into pieces or even skinned alive your ‘confidant’ who showed your hideout. That could have taken us back to the barbaric and uncouth laws that you still desire. By the way, what happened to your comradeship with the ‘Land of opportunities’? Just to refresh your memory, they gave you unwavering support when you lit the skies of Iranians in a decade-long war. Former White House chief in Ronald Reagan sold missiles to you against the congress embargo, and with the proceeds you used them on your people. Yet, when it came to the control of oil-gushing Kuwait you parted ways. Then George Herbert Walker and his carbon copy Junior emerged out of the blue, pouring catastrophe in your yard. What I fail to comprehend is the lack of sympathy between you and ‘Texas Ranger’s family’. I do beseech the two families keep us out of this if it’s personal. Thank God we don’t have oil fields in the ‘Land of the Brave’– for the Bushes’ passionate thirst for oil escalates with every word of terrorism in their speeches. By the way, did you leave Comical Musharaaf [former minister of information and propaganda] in the bedroom of that hole? Just curious. I will be wrong if I say I am the only one missing him. In any case I’d prefer watching more of CNN, laughing my heart out to his rehearsed lies to watching women and children of Sudan dying slowly of starvation just because the food aid money is channeled to fighting ‘Osama we don’t know’. Sir, neither are you the only tyrant to drink from Mussolini’s ample cup of dictatorship – Germany’s Hitler, Idi Amin of Uganda and Foday Sanko of Sierra Leone waged large scale atrocities too. It’s a shame that you are used as an example unlike your mentors who escaped unscathed. Sir, it was your time, your rule hence you cannot distance yourself from the pain you have caused many – the same people who sat in Iraq’s driver’s seat for decades, gave you the responsibility for their destiny and all their resources, unfortunately , you let them down. I wish I could invite you for the last drink of our favourable ‘taste the good times’ before the final verdict. However, I am sorry, just to save myself from those ear-deafening explosions. Do remember your right to lay charges on evidence against Tony Blair and his distant cousin the Texas Ranger for the shame they have caused you for they are the weapons of mass destruction. And, may the justice you denied reign in your hearing.
Yours Son of the African soil (Elvis Mboya is the Editor, The Connector Post)