I was once told that if you want to stay at the top, you constantly have to keep reinventing yourself, the moment you become comfortable or complacent is the moment your downfall starts. In matters of the heart and platonic relationships, I have found that the same principle applies as well.

It is so easy to become complacent in a relationship, especially in romantic ones. It turns out the prize was never getting your partner, but nourishing a healthy relationship with them and that is never as easy or simple as it appears. Someone is bound to get hurt if that is never done properly.

The truth of the matter is that there is always one that is more invested than the other, there is always the one who means what they say, there is always the one who simply cares more than the other and there is always the one who always has an eye out on the exit. Only one gets hurt.
They say all is fair in love and war, maybe it’s true because it would be stupid of you to ever think that the other person cares more for you than for themselves, especially when they know that there is always the risk and possibility of getting hurt, nobody likes getting hurt, nobody likes carrying another person’s heart.

Most of these thoughts hardly cross anyone’s mind in the initial stages of the relationship, it is all flowers and sunshine, in the beginning, it’s after this stage that people get too comfortable and start getting complacent that the cracks start showing and in many cases, the downfall begins. They simply fail to reinvent themselves and their relationships or as a friend puts it, they fail to grow with the relationship.

It’s the same in matters of the heart, you can not always count on past success and strategies that have worked before, it is needed almost vital, that one constantly keeps reinventing themselves, they get creative or really simply make sure that they move in sync with one another and with the relationship, never drop your guard and never take anything for granted. It’s never really about the other person in the relationship, it’s not them that hurt you, it’s not them that makes you happy, as a matter of fact, it’s not them that makes the relationship. It’s your expectations and definition of the relationships, its how your idea of love aligns with the reality around you. Be real or get prepared to be hurt, be yourself.

* Olavi Popyeinawa
Twitter: @olavipopyeinawa
Email: olavipopyeinawa@gmail.com