As kids, we used to play ‘houses house’, mostly imitating what we considered, at the time, what life would be like once we are married or living as adults. Fast forward, a decade and a half and now not everyone wears a smile when they hear the word marriage or even relationship.

Most people are scarred for life because of broken marriages that resulted in divorces. To some, the mention of marriage ties a tight knot in their stomachs and makes them squirm in fear for the memories they’ve buried deep down.

As we grew and understood deeper and watched more reality TV shows and movies, we have come to learn that marriage is not what we made it out to be when we were younger; same with romantic relationships – it’s not as glamorous as we made it out to be and it certainly isn’t as one-sided as we thought.

Breakups and divorces can be dirty and messy, in some cases even deadly. Just a few weeks ago, local newspapers reported of a young man who committed suicide when he learned of infidelity in his relationship. It’s sad and unfortunate, but that is the reality of how some relationships end nowadays.

But what happens when these couples break up and each go their separate ways? Do they manage to keep their mouths shut over what is deep and secretive about their ex-partners?

Some do, but for others it’s hard to hold it even a day longer. Cases of multiple scandals are witnessed, especially on social media platforms, which consequently lead to the leaking of ‘dirt’. Not every secret is made for the public to see or know about.

I had a conversation with a couple of youths who shared with me their fear of marriage. One of the girls was telling me how she puts much effort in analysing the possibility that she’d get divorced eventually in the future, rather than putting the same effort in the relationship itself and working on it to build a strong foundation for a better future and the chance to make the marriage more successful.

Those conversations left me wondering what causes these fears and the numerous divorces that we hear about so often today. Like most things, it’s hardly ever one reason but an accumulation of diverse reasons that only eventually lead to one outcome – the end of the relationship.

- Olavi Popyeinawa

- Twitter: @olavipopyeinawa

- Email: olavipopyeinawa@gmail.com