Valerie Tjirimuje
How do you deal with significant loss in your life? Loss, a simple four letter word, holds such deep implications that for some can be life transformative. Loss is a natural human occurrence, and we all experience it – although uniquely. The kind of loss we experience is mainly based on the nature of the relationship and the type of loss, including the support system available at the time.
Covid-19 has introduced us to a more altered type of loss, one that is significant in all spheres of life – be it personal, relational or occupational levels. We would at times lose loved ones (friends, family, spouse, siblings, children or parents) and colleagues all at once or consecutively. That I term as significant loss as we unusually experience grief and mourning, and that affect us holistically: psychologically, emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually.
Loss is followed by some practice of devotion or dedication as we honour and memorialise the loved ones we lost. For many, this practice is linked to culture, spirituality and religion; however, with Covid-19, countless practices were proven to be overlooked due to the nature of the disease. We got robbed of parting with loved ones and colleagues in a manner that is known and practised; however, we had to adopt new ways of mourning to an extent.
It is human nature to adapt to change within the social system; however, for something that seems final, such as bereavement, one has to wonder if healing and acceptance should thus otherwise be differently theorised during these complex times. For many, during such sorrow, the support system is an essential component in the healing journey.
From an occupational level, significant loss entails the loss of skills (expertise) and knowledge. We need to prioritise employee wellness interventions. Taking care of the holistic well-being of employees, especially after loss, is crucial. Let us remain mindful of one another and hopefully create a culture of care and support in the process.
When we look at loss, a few key things need to be taken into consideration for healing to manifest, depending on the nature of the relationship.
Support and caring relationships are indispensable. Having support can make the impact of the loss more bearable.
The support is not just emotionally but financial – and material support has proven to be a substantial facet too. These are times when family and friends pull resources together in the absence of any life insurance or funeral policies. It lessens the anxiety attached to the loss when you know you have support.
Reflect and deflect on the loss: the role of the person in your life, the nature of the relationship, what losing them means to you and how you plan to honour them personally.
Meditate and pray. At some point, we all have a belief system in a higher or divine power. During challenging times, we meditate and pray for understanding, acceptance, wisdom and healing.
Count your blessings without overlooking the loss. During times of significant loss, our brains are biologically wired to focus on the pain, hurt and sorrow. It is human nature to do so; however, whisper small voices of hope over despair and count the blessings by embracing the role and remembering key learnings from the loved one you lost.
Mourn in your unique manner. It is not easy to talk about significant loss – and at times, silence and non-verbal communication are best. Do what works for you and embrace healing in accordance with your own time and space.
Receive and give love. It is the most powerful force that can heal and transform us from within. The true language of the soul, for it is timeless, embrace it and offer it to others.
Let nature be your healing guide, and let it reveal the lessons to you as we peacefully let them rest.
*Opinions expressed are solely of the author and not linked to any organisation or affiliate.