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Pheew, 2021! …what a year that has been

2022-01-28  Frieda Mukufa

Pheew, 2021! …what a year that has been

Happy New Year to you and yours my lovies. This year, I promise to still fight for the cause, be just and slightly entertain. 

This is something I probably need to invoice my male friends for – joke, but in all honesty, this might be something that I will only do once. So, pay attention. Last year, a lot of men approached me and said that my writing is biased, not knowing that it is a woman’s column. So, for this month only, I will write something for the men. This once. 

Apparently, men are tired of socks and cologne bruv. Yes, I am talking about Valentine’s ladies. It is coming and apparently, we need to pull up the socks that we gift men. Like, aren’t we already gifts? Okay.  

So, according to men, they are tired of our ‘men don’t deserve free things’ and the ‘men should only be given socks and Nivea hampers’. Weirdly enough, I also agree, slightly. More so because it is actually not a sin to treat a man that you like. 

We (women) treat buying a man something apart from socks as a forbidden act. I asked most of my male friends – most of them are in their late 20s and early 30s, in stable relationships, dating or married to ‘working-class’ women – what is the best gift their women ever bought them, and none remembers anything meaningful, beyond the clichéd watch or cologne (well some of my friends could use a cologne) and some people actually do appreciate the watches. However, it would be better to take it up a notch. If you are clueless about what to get him, ask him for a list of things that he wants. You do not need to buy everything, and the great part is, you get to surprise him because he won’t know what he is getting. 

Sometimes I feel like we women do not have that part of the brain that harbours reciprocity as much. However, this year, can we perhaps change the narrative and do the unthinkable: pick up the tab for this year Valentine’s Day. By treating men, they would be breaking with tradition – no watches, handkerchiefs or underwear (if he stocks very old ones, take this time to buy him new ones under the guise of Valentine’s Day, but that does not count for a gift).

Break the bank, ladies. Men deserve to be treated; to be lavished. Overwhelm him. You want a vacation? Pay for it. Take him to some exotic place. Somewhere better than he would have taken you. Be in charge. Foot that bill!

This year, if you are a woman and read this column, treat your man. Men, like women, want to be appreciated for their efforts. Buy him a well-tailored suit. Buy him some good ‘poison’. Buy him some nice running shoes (pick the right colour). Take him somewhere wild and make love to him purely on your terms -no BDSM nonsense though, people have died doing safer stuff!

Great gift ideas that won’t cost you the price of a yacht: buy him his favourite team’s shirt if he is into football, or if he is into art, go to an art exhibition and have dinner afterwards. It shouldn’t be that difficult if you really love the person. 

• Frieda Mukufa’s lifestyle section concentrates on women-related issues and parenting every Friday in the New Era newspaper. She also specialises in editing research proposals, proofreading as well as content creation.

2022-01-28  Frieda Mukufa

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