Kambangane and Zakueeua were strolling between the pinching-thorn twigs when Zakueeua tripped over a love-shaped rock.
The uncombed hair man landed with his upward-pointed nose, hitting the powdery sand and choked. Luckily, Kambangane punched him, and he puffed air through his sand-filled mouth. Then, Kambangane stretched his crocodile-skin hand and pulled him, while blocking his rabbit-like ears from the eardrum-bursting noises coming from Zakueeua’s cracking knees.
“You’re as single as a babysitting cheetah,” scolded Kambangane.
Immediately, they called off their ritual gossip because Zakueeua limped to wash his bloodstained shirt in a splashing waterhole. Later, Kambangane hobbled to the spot where his friend had tumbled and picked the lizard-shaped rock.
The knee-kissing jacket man took the rock to a needle-nose man who then patted his shoulders and pressed stick-mounted sweets into his wrinkled hands. Before dusk, news of Kambangane’s stone reached the towns, partly spread by blue-chested birds singing about the magical rock atop the umbrella-shaped trees. Instantly, the trader polished the otherworldly rock and whispered that it belonged to solidified mating chameleons.
The green and pink lizard-like creatures were romantic during the year of dinosaurs. Soon, the museum paid N$20 000 to the whiskey-bearded trader. This time, the discovery had sneaked the seller’s name into the World Genius Book. Upon his return, the trader bribed Kambangane with a packet of billowing smoke cigarettes.
However, the news of the heavenly rocks triggered a maddened search for odd-looking stones. Zakueeua camped amongst the lions, hiding in the grass, searching for strange rocks after learning that Kambangane was crowned the chief rock-smith. The women singing praises and handclapping for his best enemy after he received a plate-sized penny pierced his heart like single-blade scissor.
The next day, Zakueeua spotted a rock that looked like mating mosquitoes, but when he mishandled it, the grey rock shattered into pieces. Still, he took the dusty pieces to the seller and begged him to glue them together. However, to wake the merchant during his daydreaming exercises, the trader flogged him with a horsewhip.
The crazy hunt for rocks led to brides being given in marriage for insect-shielding rocks. Many bachelors set up nylon huts in the snake-infested grasses, searching for creature-hiding rocks. Some picked snake-licked rocks, but the Department of Fauna forced them to sweep the chocolate-brown leaves with their naked hands.
The twist came when a mob of paparazzi arrived to take pictures of the missing teeth Kambangane, who’d spotted the rock. In a blink, the reddened-face Zakueeua gripped Kambangane by the throat and twisted his rooster-like neck, swearing that it was he who tripped over the strange rock. The age-mates’ wrestling match was recorded on film, and blood-sniffing bulldogs escorted Zakueeua out of Omusarakuumba.
-Mungambue@gmail.com

